Dignosco Dignosco

Thoughts on Marathon

2010-06-05T21:43:00.002+08:00

Completed my first marathon in 6 hrs 50 mins...pretty nice to catch up with new work colleagues near the finish and ended it together.

Immediate thoughts upon finishing were:
1) Timing could have been improved
2) Legs weren't that sore
3) could have pushed a little harder during the race

Nonetheless its an interesting race that promises a certain degree of self discovery... some difficulties faced were:

1) It was a night run..and I've never trained through the night before at all. Prior to the race I was usually in bed by 10pm. There were certain sections in the race where it was dark and I struggled to stay awake. Had to run nearer to the lampposts in order to keep my eyes open.

2) Ran too quickly in the first half. Wanted to start at 8.15mins/km pace for at least the first 10km but went faster at about 7.30 mins/km pace instead. Probably due to the crowd and the atmosphere...could have been better managed. Starting off a little too quickly at the beginning of the long run really took its toll in the 2nd half.

3) Lack of 100-plus along a 8-10km stretch in their hydration stations. Had to make do with plain water for a long time. Loss of salt and lack of electrolytes during this section set me up for later difficulties.

4) Cramps near 25 km mark. Had to slow my pace and take rest breaks in order not to pull my muscle. Energy gels really do work in alleviating cramps. Unfortunately, I brought only 2 packs and it was certainly not enough. Its pretty interesting to see your body deteriorate in condition after the first half of the marathon...which I felt perfectly fine till the cramps caught up.

5) Run-walk strategy really helped near the end...was able to maintain a pace of 9 plus mins/km at worst with run and walk. I had wanted to walk all the way till the end from the 25km mark, where I had cramps... Wanted to end the pain and torture by finishing earlier,,,and thus decided to pick up the pace by running and walking.

Other thoughts:
1) Didn't feel particularly proud of finishing at the moment. Perhaps it's because of seeing so many people walking all the way and finishing it without much running. It felt like it was something that could be done by anyone, and thus not making it any special, despite getting the medal and finishing tee, which I won't be wearing anyway.

2) My main intention of finishing under 5 hours was revised to under 6 hours...and I still failed to achieve that... Nonetheless its the first marathon and I'm pretty confident of improving it. It was a good learning experience... the nuances of long distance running that I've picked up in my first race. With better training and nutrition, I believe my goal of better timing will be improved.

3) Signed up for SCSM. Bless me.

Summary of Training, Jan

2010-01-31T21:13:00.004+08:00

TAPER WEEK!

2010-01-25T20:56:00.002+08:00

1st three weeks:

Mileage report on the right pane.
Longest run at 10km, felt comfortable in all the long runs thus far.
Did cross training, core training, and short runs and long walks in my vibrams.

Notes:
1) Always feeling hungry.
2) Increased energy levels mostly.
3) Feel sluggish at the end of the third week, able to fall asleep immediately after my morning long runs and shorter 5-7km tempo runs.
4) Cross training in vibrams rapes my calves. A little ILTB strain experienced after long hike.
5) Can't run without my Garmin.

Difficulties:
1) Had to force myself to take rest days despite the mind wanting to run more. Been ramping up the mileage slowly, with a margin of 10% total mileage increase each week, and 2-3km increase in the weekly long runs.
2) Pacing. Marathon pace of 5hrs (7.14 mins/km) sometimes feels too slow, and my short runs may have been too fast.
3) Initial 1-2km of every run. The qns of "wtf did I sign up for" occurred every time, had to constantly remind myself its good for the long run (pun) health-wise, fitness-wise, lifestyle-wise. Always felt better after a run.

Its taper week!, decreasing mileage and having more speed work training. So far so good!

Marathon Training

2010-01-11T08:02:00.002+08:00

Just one of my resolutions, to finish my first marathon in the coming Adidas Sundown.

Bought a Garmin forerunner 310xt to track my distance/HR and progress. Found it to be a superb training aid for those fitness enthusiast. Highly recommended.

Targeted goal : finish under 5 hours under an enjoyable pace.

Equates to 7.14min/km, which should be an easy pace to accomplish.

Indirect goals : get fitter, eat healthier, and ready for work in May 10.

gonna ramp up the mileage progressively soon. Have been a good start to the year running wise, injury free, strain free. Hope to keep it up!

My "2012" take on Sg property Market.

2009-11-07T04:34:00.001+08:00

Since dooms-days prophecies and rising housing prices are the "BOOMZ" nowadays, let me present my own prophecies on Sg's housing market in the near future.
I'm certainly not an expert - just a local singaporean undergraduate who is concerned with bread and butter issues and my future (who doesn't?).
I'm could be exposing my ignorance and naivety in the text that is to follow, and I welcome all comments for the purpose of constructive discussion and learning.

Current Situation
- Housing prices have increased and are continuing to increase despite having faced a recession.
- Applications for new houses remain oversubscribed, as seen in latest BTO and sales of balanced flat.
- Rising housing prices does not coincide with matching rising wages. Our wages have stagnated or even cut in face of the recent recession.
- Young Sgreans are getting priced out of the housing market.

Understanding the cause of the situation with the supply/demand model:

The Sg economy is highly dependent on external foreign investment and population capita growth. With our limited reproductive capabilities, the influx of foreign talents and non-talents is required to sustain and drive growth. This results in increased demand for living spaces.

When there is demand, there is always a matching supply. Such supply will be catered in the form of private/government households projects. In the meantime, speculators and investors capitalize on the projected high pricings (and hence high returns) in knowing that such supply-demand constraints would fetch. Further "supply-side" factors that further aggravates high pricing come from government policies. Restraining the building of newer flats; low property gain taxes; high approved maximum housing loan % loanable are just some policies which further the cause.

The winners and losers.

Who are the real winners? HDB, the bankers, and the speculators. What about household owners who have gained from the increased prices over the past 3 years? While their asset value has increased, they would be unable to capitalize it unless they 1) downgrade to a smaller house, 2) sell their houses and become homeless, emigrate to capitalize their CPF. In reality, such household owners face a nominal asset value increase, not a real value. They are not getting richer, as should they plan to upgrade their houses, they need to pay more to upgrade given similar price increase across the board for all houses.

Who are the losers? First time buyers who are priced out of the market. Couples who have to live with their parents. Later marriages and lower birthrates result. For those who enter the market, they will have a huge serviceable loan to pay over a long time. A longer term implication is that Sgreans will have to work longer, older, harder. Retirement age will have to increase. (They already are) Retirement security is compromised due to the large sums used to service large housing loans. This results in a vicious loop of lower birthrates, decreasing population, increasing grey population, with the economy requiring a constant influx of foreign citizens which drives the loop again and again. If things remain at status quo, we should expect such phenomena to occur.

"2012" type predictions

For this piece of writing to meet expectations similar to the prophetic 2012 doomsday craze, I'll have to talk about possible externalities that could result in a worse outcome for SG property market and the economy as a whole.

The US economy, which the world is highly dependent on, is walking on a tight rope with many of their fiscal policies of low interest rates, high national deficits, large spendings and their weakening dollar. While it seems like they have gone out of their recession, their recent growth is more of a result of their bailout money reaching the ground and the banks. Toxic assets are still present and unaccounted for (yet). The world does well when the US economy does "well", as witnessed in the dot.com boom and the pre-subprime crash heralded a golden age for Singapore. Any externality that threatens the US economy will threaten the state of Sg's economy as well. A terrorist attack, discovery of more Bernie Madoffs scandals, or when the world gets sick of the US constant printing of money to fuel their consumption are just examples of the tightrope mentioned earlier.

Externalities in the form of natural disasters can be blind-spots we face in SG. Despite having a history of being a sheltered island free from disasters, there have been recent earthquakes that were just too close for comfort. Consider the damage it could bring to a nation full of high-rise buildings should we be hit by a big one. Consider the massive drop in demand of housing in high-rise buildings when people know we are earthquake prone. Consider the implications for foreign investment in a natural-disaster prone area. Then consider the overall outlook of Sg's economy following that.

One more "externality" given our nation history of a one-party state is political stability/change. Changes in the government may not necessarily mean a bad thing. Likewise having a stable one-party government doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, or a stable economy. (Look at recent gigantic losses incurred by GIC/Temasek, town councils and now HDB!) It has to be noted that the cause of this externality is the result of the people of this nation. When people are disgruntled, changes can happen. Just look at what happened to the previous Japanese government.

"2012" implications

So we will see the bubble bursting and the economy tanking should such prophecies come true. Those who have speculated in the property market and have failed to get out will be badly burnt. Those servicing huge loans already will continue to have massive liabilities in face of a poor economy, potential job losses, wage cuts, and in worst case scenarios, bankruptcy. "The Lost Decade" in the future could refer to both the Japanese and us.

So what now?

So what is the purpose of writing this? Trying to be a Nostradamus? If Nostradamus in his time was a real prophet he would have been living a miserable life, for he was not able to influence the people to prepare for many of his disastrous visions. Being a Singaporean, I'm more interested in the practical considerations, implications and decisions I can make to prepare myself (as a fresh grad), here are some:

1) If you are capable/making good money/born with a silver spoon and thus is able to beat the current status quo, by all means profit from the current situation. Join the speculation, invest in property while expecting possible externalities and get out before they get to you.

2) If you are dead broke (like most of us upon graduating), adopt the asian culture of less consumption and more savings. Be prepared for the worst, for possible retrenchments, wage cuts, career stagnation and etc.

3) Remain viable in not only the SG market, but also to foreign markets. Sgreans may have to look outwards internationally to markets who value their competitive advantage. We have one of the best education system in the world, giving us a strong competitive advantage. And while we may have to be cheaper/better/faster (CBF) locally, we can be more valuable to companies elsewhere in the world. Make full use of our advantage to work in the globalized world.

4) Perhaps look to rentals compared to home ownership when the market is overpriced. It makes economical sense when a product becomes overpriced and when people cannot afford, they look for cheaper alternatives. Granted a rental house/room is not an asset, but it is a tradeoff you will have to make.

5) Make lifestyle changes. Adopt a functional lifestyle, not an excessive one. Curb excessive consumerism which is fueling the capital greed profiteering mechanism which is running the world economy. Practice prudence.

6) Start being a democratic citizen and building a democratic society.

Ending note.

Failing to plan is planning to fail. Being able to plan requires one to understand the current situation well and foresee future contingencies in order to manage them successfully. Being a typical kiasu-kiasi-kiapicanto singaporean, its always better to be on the safe side when the shit hits the fan. (its no wonder why there are so few entrepreneurs because sgreans are born to worry about their future and hence they take the safer route).

Again, all comments are welcomed and appreciated. Thanks for reading my rants.

The Computer Age, and its effect on guys.

2009-08-28T10:01:00.000+08:00

I have a traditional and conservative view on how guys should be. He should be a breadwinner, own a home of his own, provide for his family, all this on his own merit. A guy should look like a guy, one who is tough, manly, not scrawny and weak. He should, at the very least, lift himself up on the chin up bar. A guy should keep his emotions in check, and not pour them out at all available outlets - facebook, twitter, friends etc. A guy should be able to joke, and take jokes directed at him. A guy should just be a guy, a man.

Now with this computer age coming to its developed stage, there is an apparent correlation with the internet age and the general rising trend of non-manliness I've observed. Here are a couple:

1) Metrosexual guys, or whatever they mean. Spurred by the media, many probably think metrosexual is neat and cool. But I'm spotting guys with lean (really lean) legs on sockless canvas, tote bags slung over their shoulders, hairstyles looking like a korean pop drama queen. I'm not sure why girls dig such fashion sense. Perhaps its a cultural thing, as culture and fashion shifts with time. But in my traditional and conservative view, such fashion deserves no respect from the conventional men our fathers and grandfathers used to be.

2) Emotional guys. We call them 'Emo' in short. Emo - an act of displaying your emotions, or more correctly, your weakness in the public domain. Again girls dig this. They call them SNAGs, they love communicating with them because they are so open with their feelings. With availability of sharing avenues like facebook, blogspot and now twitter, more guys are putting up useless and nonsensical whimpering, that in the real world, no one gives a shit about. Unless what they are sharing is interesting and adds value to others, spare us with the so many lousy emo days they have had, or how bitchy their female bosses were or whatever. As a guy, i just don't wanna hear your emotional problems. They are not my problem, but yours. Solve them, not share them.

3) Physically weak guys. These are guys who can't carry a sack of rice, or climb over a low wall. A guy should keep in shape, stay in shape, and at the very least, perform some functional physical tasks that a biologically born guy is capable of. There is nothing to be admired, really, at guys who just look sloppy and out of shape. Now we have keyboard warriors - guys with strength not in their body but their fingers. A guy should be competent in at least a sport. Again I hold no regards for guys who do not do any sports at all.

This post may hurt and offend. Call me superficial for judging a book by its cover, but I'll tell you it's reality. People size you up on first sight, and judge you based on the initial 5 seconds. Such sizing up used to occur in the real physical domain. Now, with the accessibility and excess sharing available in the digital world, people are constantly judging you based on the things you share at every opportunity. Take this with a pinch of salt.

Took a dump at 8.22 on 9/8/09

2009-08-10T11:02:00.004+08:00

And so, another year has passed and a heightened wave of patriotism overcame me so much that I just couldn't help myself and took a historic dump in the toilet at that historic moment. Yes, I missed the pledge, but surely I can be forgiven by thinking of the actual meaning of it as I cleared my bowels.

"We, the citizens of Singapore, pledge ourselves as one united people, regardless of race, language or religion, to build a democratic society, based on justice and equality so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress for our nation."

The first thing that came to me then was that I, or we citizens, have been made to recite this pledge mindlessly through our primary, secondary and JC days. The issue of countless mindless recitation of such a verse eventually led to my belief of truism in the verse itself. Without truly critically understanding what it really means, and what our society really reflects, the ignorance of mine has certainly clouded my view of the significance of our pledge. Lets take it apart, and review on what the pledge and how our reality bear similarities or differences.

"We, the citizens of Singapore, pledge ourselves as one united people"
The first part starts with an imposing sense of patriotism, in the word We, which we are told to accentuate it with "gusto!". In this sense, those who are born and raised locally can definitely identify it more strongly compared to those who are foreign to our shores. To the influx of foreign talents and workers, and perhaps some permanent residents who have taken up citizenship and residency, does the word "WE" mean the same to them compared to local-born-and-bred singaporeans? In the event of natural or non-natural crisis, local "WE" have no where else to run to, because we have been living on this land for as long as we are conscious. What about the foreigners "WE"? It is thus obvious that there is an apparent gap between the two "WEs". Can we still stand united when such crisis occur? It remains to be seen, and yet history has shown the resilience of Singaporeans in overcoming crisis, but again the past has no correlation to the future, in which unknown challenges looms.

"regardless of race, language or religion"
The next part of "regardless of race, language or religion" is perhaps the strongest statement that signify our nation. Having been a regular traveler to our neighbouring Malaysia and having witnessing the racial politics involved, the fact that we live in a multicultural society in relative peace and acceptance is something that we should not take for granted. At least our politicians don't play the racial cardgames, and local policy have shown equality in managing our diverse demographics.

The real challenge in the future, as our dear politicians have pointed out, is the successful integration of the influx of migrant workers with our locals. There has definitely been a growing resentment of this foreign migrants policies, as many singaporeans believe we are shortchanged and competition for jobs become more intense. Yet they have to realise that in light of economic progress, such immigrants are some sort of a 'necessary evil'. The nation has to remain competitive in light of the highly globalized world, where cheap labour can be quickly outsourced to nations with people eager to work and earn. Businesses in this era are highly flexible in relocating their operations in view of manufactoring and labour costs. Thus, it is true that if we do not have migrants who are willing to do cheap labour, businesses would relocate and less jobs will be available for the total pool of population. This also indicates that the implementation of a minimum wage is a double-edge sword, a policy that balances more towards its cons than its benefits. Yes, it's just business, nothing personal. This grim all-out economical progress view that our government take is definitely not personal in nature. Someday sometime, someone will have to review if economic progress and chasing GDP figures is worth it for its citizens or nation in the long run.

"to build a democratic society"
Now, any intelligent being worth his salt will understand that our nation is not a true democracy. We are building towards it, and it doesn't really mean we are truly democratic in society at this moment. Democracy, by definition, is a system of government in which the controllers of the government are elected by the population. Well we do have elections, however are our elections fair and square? Have ALL the people voted for those in the government? Have we fully exercised our choice in the manner a democracy demands? Have the election system in place allowed this to occur? Citizens have to start asking these questions. Rather than just mindlessly reciting a pledge at a pre-specified moment, perhaps a critical review on this phrase "build a democratic society" will do more good.

"based on justice and equality"
We are building a society based on justice and equality. Justice, as just as the word implies, is not totally black and white. There is justice for the poor, and justice for the rich. There is justice for those in power, and those in not. Ideally, we would want a fair independent judiciary system, in which all of us have equal rights in the face of law. Yet ideals remain as ideals. (Which I'd come to believe it as a truism)

The same goes for "equality". We would like to think all of us are equals at birth, ideally. And with the "meritocratic" society that Singaporeans live in, the notion of achieving success (or failure) based on pure merit alone sounds fair and square. Yet such utopian tautology doesn't really seem to reflect reality, ya? All of us were never equals to begin with. Warren Buffett call this the "luck of ovarian lottery". If you are lucky, you are born in a good family with comfortable finances, you live a comfortable life, get a comfortable education, get into good jobs perhaps by virtue of family connections or what not. If you are unlucky, you are born in a poor family, and you have to work hard to survive, earning your keeps, spending time away from the academic and intellectual pursuits and grades that our country so highly value. So a differential of lifestyle and luck exists between everyone.

Even so, our 'meritocratic' society has given everyone here a chance, regardless of where you were born, what sort of ovarian luck you were given. Study hard, work hard, get good grades, get a scholarship and boom, you are set. Though we often hear of students from poor families scoring excellent grades and obtaining prestigious scholarships, studies have shown that there is a greater, much greater proportion of students from rich and well-to-do families taking a similarly higher proportion of such scholarships as well. (Read Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers for a better understanding in differential outcomes) We are in a way meritocratic in terms of educational context, but the basis of assuming that we are all equals to begin with is flawed.

"achieve happiness, prosperity and progress for our nation."
Now for the last part, achieving happiness, prosperity and progress for our nation. Wait... for Whom? For the nation? or for the people? Are we happy as singaporeans? or the nation? Are we prospering and progressing as Singaporeans? or for the nation? It is food for thought. Likewise, is happiness, prosperity and progress for the nation, as the pledge suggests, correlated to the similar happiness, prosperity and progress for its people? For this I am not sure. What I do know, as a personal experience, is that it is not easy making a living in Singapore. Costs of living is high, and is definitely increasing. Stress levels are also high. The people are competitive, perhaps among ourselves as Singaporeans, but not necessarily "market competitive" compared globally. Working hard is definitely a virtue needed to survive here. There is no easy lunch they say. But have we thought carefully and think about perhaps there exists an "easier lunch" elsewhere from Singapore.

Yes I probe questions, and its perhaps philosophical in nature. Till now I've not suggested any feasible improvements that our state can use, for I do not see myself having the capability to think in deeper levels and their implications. But we have to begin somewhere, perhaps by probing with such questions. We can all start by taking a dump and thinking about things, like I did at 8.22pm on 9 August 2009.

Political Apathy

2009-07-06T14:36:00.004+08:00

- Sgreans attitude - Blue/Red Pill? - Why so? - The need for - Changing socio-economical climate -

Source of inspiration.

A survey conducted by a body affiliated to the government found that:

■ Some 63.4% of Singaporeans knew little or nothing about the Constitution and the organs of state.

■ Two-thirds, or more than 66%, of Singaporeans believed that they had little or no influence at all on national issues.

■ A whopping 92.7% had never given feedback to the Government, and 94.9% had never written letters to a newspaper.

■ And 94.5% don’t know what it’s like to sign a petition.

A story that bemused me in an interesting way. I've kinda got this impression that senior officers in my working environment seem to have the answer, or at least seem to know what they are talking and can offer their take on about any issues at hand. So during lunch with one of my bosses, we spoke about the problems of our society and with politics in general. So instead of the usual 'talking down' to me by him, which has often occurred in our office cubicles with me being the inquisitive one asking about workplace policies, this time it was my turn sharing in a uniquely one-directional conversation. Here I'm, a 20+ yr old junior officer, talking to someone of who is a dad of 2, been working in the system for quite some time, and he had nothing of value to share and discuss.

Now, this is not the interesting part, i thought. The weirder and more significant problem that struck me was that this is exactly the same thing that happens whenever the issue of politics was struck up during conversation over a meal, or just about any other conversations among my peers, of similar age and educational profile. Now, not that I've known myself as an overbearing conversationalist, just one who offers my views strongly in things that i've believed in, the nature of this phenomenon is simply the fact that most singaporeans don't give a flying f* to national politics.

This reminds me of the Matrix (yea how useful, the movie Matrix can be used to describe almost anything that happens in the world). Most singaporeans are still swallowing bitter blue pills (as our government likes to tell us, swallow the bitter pill, fight on despite the gloomy economical climate and tough times, the golden age of singapore is over - in implicit terms,"your degree is worthless, masters are ok, phDs are cool, anything else be prepared to bite more bullets).

They are sludging through the system that IS created by national policies. How so? These policies occur in our daily lives, in the systems we live in: education structure, nature of job openings, economic measures like tax, wages, CPF and so on and so forth. And while we are living in this system and working our ways through it (with a little grumbles and complains), we have never considered the WhoWhatWhenWhereWhy and How this system is created.

Why so? Why are Sgreans so apathetic? Is it because they are born apathetic, or they are made this way? (back to the nature vs nurture argument). I guess the answer should be kinda obvious, unless some scientist proves us wrong with the existence of 'apathetic genes', in which we singaporeans seem to have alot of.

In my experience, from young, we are inprinted with the idea of intense competition, especially in education. We work hard with TYSs, repeated end of year papers, and always seek for answers that will always be provided. We are told to score and do well, else our future will be bleak. (and likwise, i'm sure most parents in singapore tell that to their kids). Our governemnt continues its increasing foreign talent importing policies, tells us they need to because our birth rates are low and there are jobs that singaporeans won't want to do. With regards to the last issue, the question to ask is really, is it true that singaporeans do not want to do the jobs as stated? Or is it that these jobs are not wanted by singaporeans because of other factors, such as the incessant reflection of how these jobs are despised and not taken up by singaporeans, causing an effect by stating the phenomenon? And the result of all these policies have caused issues like 'lack of creativity' due to our education nature, 'brain drain', 'exploitation of foreign workers', 'inflation', 'academic inflation' and a whole host of issues that if you open your eyes they would be as easy to spot.

The point is, our behaviours, conscious or unconscious experience is a function of this system that is created. We are the way we are, because of the environment we live in. Parents tell their kids to buck up because in reality thats what they need to do! We are apathetic towards politics because we have so much else that concerns us at a livelihood manner before we can think about what causes these concerns at depth.

Its like we are little Neos, needing a miracle help from the system to feed us the much needed red pills before we can wake up and be aware of things, the matrix that we live in, and how to enact REAL changes from within. For that, we have to understand our own political climate and then come to the realization of our our seemingly innocuous "apathetic" nature of political awareness have led us down to our daily life experiences. Things like national policy affect the very ways of life of society. Grave as it might sound, it is indeed serious. And if we do not care about policy making at the national level, we can also forget about voicing out issues that may produce concerns, and we might as well don't bother making changes at the citizenship level with regards to issues that affect our livelihood.

Well it has been a rambling of sorts, but to conclude, we citizens have to take a stakeholder approach towards national building and policy making. We have to stop being singaporeans only on NDP. We are the ones working the ground, knowing what is going on, feeling the economic and social effects of our environment that shape us, and I believe we jolly well know what what kind of environment we want ourselves and our kids to live in, and we can produce change at the grassroots. Taking ownership is the first step I ask for, and being politically aware is just a subsequent consequence of that attitude.

A lighter moment

2009-05-30T13:43:00.002+08:00

Reminiscing one of the funnier and enlightening moments during my previous vacation attachment. Was working in a small department of 6, in which 5 of them are married with kids ranging from toddlers to late teens. Managed to had a lighter and funnier moment with the 2IC, who was about to celebrate his 20++ yrs of marriage/wedding anniversary and he gave me a golden advice:

Him: "Leslie, next time when you get married, try to make things easier for yourself."

Me: " (in my mind: WTF are u talking about). Huh? "

Him: "See.... My anniversary is on Christmas day. I never forget about our wedding anniversary date. Only sometimes the number of years, but at least my wife doesn't nag or scold me if i forget the date!"

*the group of married men in my department laughs and cheers, saluting this little piece of wisdom being imparted to a rookie young man.

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Golden advice indeed.

I've always wondered whats with the fascination by the female species on celebrating special occasions on a anniversary basis. I'm not a big fan of celebrating at a glorious level, throwing parties and such. IMHO, such glorious celebration should only take place if the occasion really means something. Like if you have ED for the past 30 yrs and you get cured in your coming bday. Now thats significant and life changing and certainly deserves celebration.

Bdays aren't top of my list. Turning 24, 30, 40 or 50 or 69 the next day certainly doesn't mean anything significant. You are still yourself before your bday, and you will certainly still be the same you after your bday, so what is the big deal with celebrating them? For milestones sake, sure, though to me it feels a little shallow. Getting friends and acquaintances to celebrate and the next day everyone goes on with their lives. I've known of ppl who attend others bday parties religiously, in so with hope that their own bday parties will be properly reciprocated. What bollocks?

Anyway lesson learnt from this wise man and his advice for guys : plan your special days in advance and make things easier for yourself...e.g. if you are starting out, your monthiversary date..if you gonna plant your first kiss on your girl, your first kisserversary date...if you gonna hit home run....your first homerun date...if you gonna propose....your proposal date...and if you gonna ROM...your ROM date and if you gonna get married, plan your marriage date. To make things easier, just try to do them all in the same day, like...erm...Vday. This way, you get high benefit with lower costs. And when dementia or the effect of "just being a guy" sets in, you don't forget such important dates because its stated explicitly in your default calender.

P.S. GF is going to complain about this when she sees this.

AWARE Fiasco...Issues to ponder

2009-04-30T00:58:00.007+08:00

Cliffnotes: (google wayangparty / the online citizen for more background information)

AWARE is a secular women right's organisation. Among other fronts that they push further for women rights, they have also adopted a neutral stance towards homosexuality in Singapore.

Meanwhile, pastors and high ranking church people from CHURCH OF OUR SAVIOR (COOS), decided that homosexuality is an act against the teachings of their God, and planted the seeds for a management coup d'etat (though it was constitutional) of AWARE so that they can change the direction of a secular organisation into one that is anti-homosexual.

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Issues and implications to ponder:

1) Fanatics, whose religion allowed them to have a higher moral standing, decide to impose their discriminatory views onto a secular organisation by taking over the management on a constitutional basis.

Granted it was a constitutional takeover, why can't the Church simply start a new organisation and fight for their own cause? Why is there the need to take over a secular organisation that represents the multi-religious, multi-racial woman demographic in SG? Can't they mind their own business?

The pastor actually said "It’s not a crusade against the people but there’s a line that God has drawn for us, and we don’t want our nation crossing that line."

Apparently he has forgotten that he is just a pastor of a church (not the Prime-minister nor the Prime-minister's father whom have the actual capacity to make such statements) and should not have made such a daring blanket statement concerning the nation crossing that line. And which LINE? Who drew the line? JESUS? Would the Gods of other religions , e.g. Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism and atheism have drawn different lines? And who is to say whose line is BETTER than the other line?

2) If such a management takeover for the sake of furthering a cause of a religion is condoned and accepted by the public, what sort of message does it imply?

That if another pastor in another church dislikes a national or organisational policy that does not fit into their God's doctrine, they should actively campaign aganist them and if possible, take over the organisation and impose their views on their freewill?

Will we become a christian state? And for "God's sake", why do christians always need others to see things in their shoe, evangelising, preaching, and now imposing?

------------------------------------------------------------

There are some personal reflections and takeaways with regards to this issue.

Firstly, homosexuals are here to stay. They have always been around in history, in the present, and also in the future with or without any religious, social, genetical, governmental (and what not) interference. Heck, talking about sexual abuse of altar boys, there are even homo pastors, bishops and cardinals!

No matter how negative or distasteful the presence of such beings appear to anti-homosexual religious fanatics, they have to realise homos are humans afterall, and have equal living rights amongst us. Furthermore, living in multiracial and religious inclusive society, we have to make sense of our living environment and develop an awareness (not tolerance though, as the word implies I hate what you are doing, but I'm going to take it in my stride and not make a big fuss about it) towards the sensitivity of such issues. Ain't Christianity all about preaching of love towards humanity? Where is the humanity when there is so much hatred in condemning homosexuals to hell when they are just like normal people? Love the hypocrisy.

Secondly, issues like this with a religious background can have drastic implications on a plural society. It is making people who are at first sensitively aware of religious differences into one that is more of quiet tolerance, and in the worst case, developing a disdain. The Church of our Savior has certainly done itself no favours as an ambassador of whatever god they pray to. Even some christians have publicly condemned such actions taken by the Church. I can forsee certain government intervention being taken should there be any threats occuring to our pluralistic society.

Lastly, to end with a quote:

"When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion, it is called Religion."
-- Robert M. Pirsig

I've always maintained that the world will be better off without any religion. The only good thing I can take out from having religions is the good values they impart to followers. These similar values can also be learnt and assimilated on my own without the help of any religions at all - it is simply called being a HUMAN. It doesnt take much common sense to know what being a Human means. The world can be better off with a bit more humanity versus "My God is better than your God, and my Line is bigger and wider and nicer than your freaking line."

Trying to make common sense in current issues. (Non Sequitur)

2009-04-17T01:26:00.005+08:00

Just trying to make some sense in latest happenings and current affairs in our tiny beautiful island. Singaporeans are generally apathetic to general current affairs and political news. This isn't surprising as we have many daily survival issues to contend with, before we can exercise our common sense on what is really happening on the ground. Lets see.

Ren Ci CEO Monk gone amok. Political/Journalistic/Management Implications.

Apparently doing charity is all about filling the pockets of the head honcho before the beans are spilled. I thought TT Durai was the man, now this monk (someone who should espouse the values of the religion he preaches) tops the chart. Details of this fiasco aside, some key issues arises:

1) What is the management committee doing? A news report said they trusted their head monk and allowed him to set his own salary. Okay, so they run on the basis of 'trust'. This was the same basis used when our national reserves were tapped for our 'Resilience Package'. When questioned on the process of approval, I quote our Finance Minister

“I’m not sure why it is relevant. At the end of the day, this is a system that is different from Norway and Australia, where as much detail as possible is provided. This is a system that relies on trust in the individuals who are in charge including those appointed to the CPA and the Elected President. Do you trust them? Have they made decisions wisely? Has the government been acting responsibly?”

Where was the accounting, check and balances, transparency? The word 'trust' is a big word to use, and has big implications. When things go wrong, where does the fault lie? Is it the management fault for trusting someone whom they thought would not abuse their authority? Or is it a systems failure for not implementing proper check and balances to prevent such cases from happening? I thank God (I'm an atheist, but I can't find anyone to give thanks) that this time it was a Charity Organisation that screwed up. I do hope nothing of this sort happens for our National Corporation. Just because of the word "TRUST".

2) I got news that headhoncho monk approved a $60k loan to a PAP MP thru CNA's online website. The title listed in the website changed from "Ming Yi approves $60,000 loan to MP Ong Seh Hong" to "Former RenCi CEO Ming Yi approves several loans to staff" a few hours after this news clipping was released online. It doesn't take an idiot to figure out what our local media is doing.

The irony of this issue was that I was watching the news reporting on Mediacorp News Award ceremony which awarded prizes and recognition for the great journalistic content of the media. I quote their Chairman Ho Kwon Ping,

“In understanding the spirit of the times, we stand united not as a single MediaCorp but as professionals dedicated to the task of making this crazy world more understandable to our audience."

I'm sure our journalistic standards are up there among the best, and the efforts of the editors in making this RenCi news report more understandable to the international and local readers alike should be applauded.

New Creation Church Pastor earns $500k/annum. God is the new first class honours

Oh my GOD! If I knew believing in certain unproven assertions from a Bible and then charismatically preaching to others would secure me such a comfortable salary, I should have gone to seminary schools instead of slaving it out in NUS currently. Cut to the crap, here are some common sense issues that we should all think about:

1) Why is the pastor paid so much. Isn't a pastor one who should adopt the very core values that the religion teaches? I don't think the peeps who wrote the bible said it is okay to pay yourself so well from the many donations made by altruistic (if not blind) followers of the church. Besides, does a pastor need so much? Drive a big car, live in a big house, indulge in luxuries while providing religious and spiritual comfort to believers? A pastor is the embodiment of the religion, an ambassador of good teachings for God's sake!

2) Is there a need for mega classy-extravagant church? Is there justification for the amazing amounts of donation - $19 million worth on one Sunday ? Why do the followers of the Church donate so much? Do they know where the money is going? Into the pockets of their pastor? Into the senseless building of high-class luxury style church so that they can feel cool and hip when they confess their sins on a weekly affair? Into buying a nicer lot with more amenities in Heaven? Or just because you believe in God and you just know you should give your money to him. For God's sake, there are so many people in the world who could make better use with that sum of money. People are dying of poverty, lack of food, healthcare and medicine. I seriously implore these kind-altrustic-classy church-goers to get a sense of proportion (a term so strongly used by our ahkong you know who) and make sense of their donations, and what they are actually donating for.

Granted, I'm not a follower of the church, and can never understand fully their actions for amassing such huge sums for a church. But even if I am, I should be exercising due common sense in making such donation decisions, especially with the integrity of altruistic organisations being thoroughly questioned in the light of the NKF and RenCi saga.

There are more issues to contend with, and I guess that is the new direction for this blog. Making common sense out of daily issues.

The Nature of Truth, or 'truths'

2008-09-14T03:38:00.004+08:00

- Maths and Science - The Big Bang Experiment - History of Singapore - Declassified Documents - Onions - 2+2 = 4 -

There is a beauty in the simplicity of Maths and Science. Both serve to unravel the truth and facts of nature, resolving complexity to simplicity. Regulated by systemic processes such as peer reviews, both fields ensure that the research discoveries hold the integrity of truth, at the very moment at least, until they are denounced by discoveries and inconsistencies in the future.

The latest LHC Big Bang experiment is another attempt to dig deeper into the truth of matter. To put this discussion in context, lets look at a summarized version of the understanding of matter through ages of mankind.

The history of matter began with the early Greeks near 490 BC. They first took it at face value that matter is made up of 4 elements: fire, water, air and earth. Later, another Greek studied the indivisible nature of matter and came up with the concept of atoms. They thought that atoms were the fundamental particles in nature, and they were wrong. Fast forward, future discoveries brought about the knowledge of nucleus and subsequently, protons and electrons and the likes. Going deeper, the standard model that we now know shows the truths of what matter really is, consisting of even smaller particles such as quarks, muons, gluons and what nots.

It should be noted the contemporaries at the different parts of the history had a different understanding of the 'truths'. The Greeks certainly thought their '4-elemental model' then was correct during the context of their society. And certainly physicists today know that the standard model is a widely accepted 'truth' on how things work today. It is a great thing to be able to unravel and test existing truths through advancement in technology, with the LHC experiment. Having the ability to know what is real, what is not, what is right and what is wrong provides a soothing influence for me at least.

The advent of technology, especially the internet, (and not the media, if you understand the nature of free-press in our country), allowed me to come across declassified documents that gave me a new insight of the History of Singapore, as well as things that are not taught formally in the classroom, not published publicly in the press, and things that have been actively 'socially engineered' into me since young. To be honest, having such new insights and perspectives kind of made me feel and look stupid, into believing what was taught was taken to be the real truth. There is always the other side of the story in the study of history.
(Note: I used the word 'insight', and not necessarily truths. For what I've learnt gave me new perspectives, but by no means the authority to deem them as truths)

As we know, history is written by the victors. History is a product of survivorship bias, as the lost and the dead do not tell stories. There is always the other side of the story, I repeat, in history. But what about now, the present? Is there any difference between present and past, future and history? What happens now becomes history tomorrow. If we continue to be ignorant of 'the other side' in our daily lives and taking what is portrayed to us as truths at face value, we would just look like idiots when we become history tomorrow. "Look at the dumb Greeks..matter....Fire, water, air, earth...COME ON..dumbass..lol!" It may sound ridiculous now on hindsight (the Greeks), but without the active search for truths, we would not have the luxury of understanding issues deeper with more clarity.

Getting to the truth is like peeling off the layers of a huge onion. What you see may not be what you get. What you know at present may not be right. What you perceive as truths could be wrong. Such is the nature of truths and 'truths'. For until you can reach the core of the onion and say for certainty that 2+2=4, the quest for deeper knowledge and having a critical review of what we know is of the utmost importance. It is only through this that societal and personal development can progress.

Does God Exists?

2008-05-20T14:39:00.002+08:00

- Same old argument - Early Greeks and Maths - Irrational Numbers - Moses and the Red Sea

For religion-bashers/believers alike, the same old argument continues to be an interesting topic. Does God exists? By the word "exist", what does it really mean? Does it mean the presence of a physical existence? Or a metaphorical abstract one? I now link the idea of existence with a seemingly un-parallel argument related to maths.

The early Greek mathematicians and the worshippers of maths as a religion believed in the beauty of numbers. They loved the finiteness and preciseness that numbers relate to their lives. Almost all believed in the absoluteness of numbers, the idea of fractions, integers, odd and even numbers which all depicted exactness. Until the discovery of "Irrational" numbers - numbers that have no whole value, no defined exactness of odd or even, numbers that are simply irrational, logically non-understandable. Yet all this irrationality is proved in maths and as we know, maths is the purest form of "rational"/"logical" deductions and reasonings. Now we can't live without irrational numbers in our daily mathematics life. Think of all the pi's and square roots, and i we had to endure during our academic life.

What has the existence of God have to do with irrational numbers? The early Greeks and mathematics did not believe in the existence of irrational numbers. They find it crude. How can a number that is undefined in exactness be called a number? Until Hippasus of Metapontum, a pythagorean(source wiki) who prove that it existed through a series of logical mathematical reasoning, there ceased to be the existence of an "irrational" number.

Likewise if we change the word "God" in our title to that of "irrational numbers", we see the link between them. Imagine we are back in early Greece and ancient maths, there is a religion of "irrational numbers". They are, back then, considered to be weird people who go around campaigning of these "weird" and seemingly "illogical" numbers around the street, shouting "PI PI PI PI, ROOT 2 ROOT 2". Some of them may have even been sentenced to prison or death for spewing nonsense. But the truth is that "irrational" numbers existed. And until they are proven to exist, there is no way of concluding whether or not the existence is true or false.

Thus going back to our subject title. There is no way to prove or campaign for the existence or nonexistence of God, until further knowledge/facts appear. Who knows, maybe there really is a God, and it exists on a definable scale on planet earth. Maybe one day a middle-east dude with a cool looking beard resembling Moses splits the Red Sea in full view of the public; Maybe one day a guy looking like Jesus appears and revives a dead person in public, and (tongue-in-cheek) publicly declares he is in fact a Buddhist.

To proponents of the existence of God, have you really thought deeply on the reasons or arguments (and more importantly the basis and source of your reasoning) that prove that HE really exists? To opponents of the same argument, would your arguments and reasoning you make emplace you as one of the ignorant early Greek Mathematicians as discussed above? To both, should there even be a need to argue and define the true answer to our topic?

I guess my stand is clear.

Disclaimer: This is by no means any intellectual discussion that should be taken seriously. Religion is a touchy issue that I hate talking to people about. Mainly because I'm an Atheist and one who finds arguments disproving a higher entity more plausible then those that prove them. But yet it serves me better by thinking actively on these topics and keep my mind open on things that are "unknown".

Previously in my stomach, and out. P.S- will make you hungry.

2008-03-22T14:39:00.034+08:00

Chong Qing Mala Steamboat

Nando's Spicy Chicken (Sure did ruffle more than my feathers)

Ham & Cheese Sandwish at New York New York

Salmon Teppanyaki

Ebi Maki, the best so far I've ever tasted. From Central.

Salmon Sushi

JCO Donuts

Belgian Choc Dips from Lavender Market Food Court

Klang Bakkutteh from Leong Kees at Beach Rd

Fruit plate with a face!

Sashimi Galore

Ice-Cream Desert at TGI Friday. A return trip to this restarant just for this desert is more than justified.

King Prawns from Newton

Course Meal from SS Virgo

No, this is not shit, its my handmade cookies. And yes, I made it look like shit.

Best mushroom soup ever from Langkawi

Best grilled salmon ever from langkawi, gave my dear her horrible stomach runs though.

Chicken Curry Katsu

Flaming Prawns from Manhattan Fish Market

Prawn salad from Delifrance Bistro

Nice-looking Corn Soup

Best Yu-Pian Tang in the world, and the "BESTEST" of all, it's so near my place, at West Coast Market Food Court

Sotong from I-can't-remember-which-restaurant.

Homemade Bacon & Ham breakfast

Ikea's Balls. They taste great.

Mala steamboat from Chuan Yi Pin.

Room Service Breakfast for a king.

Mala Steamboat from Vivo.

Exotic Cheesecakes from SayCheeze in Greatworld City.

Lastly, a satisfied glutton.

Highlights of a crazy year

2007-12-31T16:35:00.000+08:00

Just some snippets of this year's travels. Enjoy!

Langkawi

KL LCCT. To be honest, I got a little phobia of flying after watching too many of Nat Geo Air Crash Investigations.

Our plane. I was promptly stopped from taking more pictures from an airport staff after taking this shot. I believe they suspected I'm a terrorist.

View from the skies. At least I know where I'm if we crashed. lol!

Awana Resort. Peaceful, Serene, lovely.

In the cable car. This is a significant moment in my life as it hung on the balance of a god-damned cable and the bloody scary cliffs.

LK Bridge, one we got to see but not to walk due to the weather.

Awesome beach.

Superstar Virgo, Cruise to I-dunno-where

Shot of the seas and the skies.

Having fun with BINGO! I remember the gay host, I think he touched my butt.

Miss Chew could do better with the angles and the shot.

Probably the best shot taken on this ship.

Me in our tiny cabin. The bed is kinda small and hard.

Kuala Lumpur

The "Majestic" Eye of KL, soon to be ass-kicked by Singapore Flyer.

I'm looking over your shoulder baby....

Being at the top of this ferris wheel gives you a polar view of the developed city and the relatively undeveloped residential areas.

Aquarium in KLCC. Those jellyfishes are so lovely. Some of them look like delicious mushrooms.

Twin Towers in full view.

Cameron Highlands

Strawberry Farm

Miss Chew taking a walk.......

Plantations of the Highlands

I don't mind waking up every morning to a view like this.

Of Officership and Discipline

2007-07-14T22:36:00.000+08:00

The recent PM's son 2LT Li Hongyi's saga has raised many eyebrows within the SAF and the public. The management of this case (which I shan't go into detail), in my opinion, brings about many implications at varying levels.

The first issue to be discussed is the very fundamental values of Officership within the SAF. For an Officer to go AWOL, together with his supervisors not doing anything about it just to "not stain his career" tarnishes the very values that were first inculcated to Officers back in our OCS training. It is not the first and the last case that Regular SAF Personnels do things to cover up their ass when shit happens, as highlighted in the saga. Yet the question remains: When such situations occur, do Officers do the RIGHT thing, or take the easy way out? I've personally witnessed Senior Officers covering up events that if reported, would warrant more and unnecessary paperwork and procedures.

The second issue I'm highlighting reflects the paradoxical nature of the way MINDEF has handled the case of PM's son jumping the chain of command for his complaint. To mete a punishment of an Summary Trial and a mere reprimand brings out certain issues. Firstly, is the punishment (Just a reprimand) meted out justifiable? Or is it simply because the concerned person is a PM's son. Secondly, if indeed it is justifiable, then does it reflect the true benchmark of punishment meted out when another person in the future decides to jump the chain of command and mass email everyone to lodge his complains?

Consider this scenario : I'm just an Officer, son of an average citizen just like most of you are. I witness my superiors breaching SAF Rules, and when my complaints get turned down I jump the chain of command, probably doing a mass email. Question is: What is going to happen to me? Will my complain then be dealt appropriately by the relevant authorities? Or will my complain be shot down again by my superiors, and I'll be punished (to what extent I'm not sure, but I'll reckon it's definitely more than a reprimand).

In my opinion, the way MINDEF dealt with this issue opens many cans of worms for the future. Next time, any soldier could attempt the same thing jumping the chain of command(provided he is right on his complain), get a mere reprimand, and get his message across. With this recent case as a benchmark, things may get out of hand if similar cases happen again.

Lastly, a discussion note to end this article, is that we, as Officers (and especially Regular Officers) should not forget the role we play, the image we project and most importantly the consequences of our wrongdoings. The very values that were taught to us, especially that of integrity, should be the guiding values for all of our actions. It is with the integrity of commanders that the SAF system can be withheld and not be scrutinized when cases like this happens.

P.S Do not fail to consider possible political bias of MINDEF reporting this case. Wont elaborate more, but do PM me to share your views.
--------------------------------------------
On a sidenote, have to apologize for the lack of content updates. Have had a tough year before, having to take a break of about 1 yr of studies due to bad health. Have been working and keeping fit since recovery, currently looking for next semester to begin.

Apologize too for not keeping in contact with my many friends during my downtime. Had to thank my great great gf for nursing me back to health. Not to mention I've heard alot of nasty things about me and her when I was away from school. For those who have spread these nasty rumours, the very least you can do is to ask me personally for the facts before adding in some more of your "hearsay" facts. I find it highly disrespectful to me and esp my gf (she has been wonderful all this while) when the news and rumours I've heard were totally ridiculous. In a nutshell, spreading uninformed rumours is a character degrading act. Says alot about you as a person and your character.

I need...

2006-09-18T22:54:00.000+08:00

a good 2hr long run,
breakfast alone early in PGP,
a round of drinks over a weekend,
and watch soccer and scream,
play my guitar on my bed,
to walk together without next week in mind,
to slow things down,
get in touch with friends,
to scream and get scolded,
and to laugh it off,
to unstretch my stretched soul,
to sweat and get exhausted,
and to wake up refreshed,
to get wet in the rain,
fall terribly sick,
and appreciate my life again.

Of Characters and Personalities......

2006-08-24T23:02:00.000+08:00

Ever noticed that during the course of your daily life, be it in work or in school, there is always this particular someone who seems to stand out from the rest? This someone, or a few more others, are constantly being noticed, constantly being spoke of, constantly being the star or xfactor of the place?

Ever wondered why is this so? Perhaps its their personality, their character, their dress sense, their pretty long legs and huge..errhem.... More so, in general, its just the way they carry or project themselves to the surrounding people, people like us who can't keep our eyes affixed to people like them.

Here is an interesting worldview from me:

The world is actually a stage of projection. We are all performers on the stage as well as audiences off the stage. Being audiences, we are subjected to the performance put up and are receptive to the feelings, thoughts, emotions induced in us by them. As performers, we have the capability to do so to others, especially to the audiences.

How is this analogy related to us? or in our daily life? Some simple examples may help assist:

1) A lecturer presenting his material to a class is the most direct example. The lecturer, a performer, uses his prior knowledge and qualification to seek to impart them to the students, who are audiences.

2) A military leader leading his men to war is another example. The leader performs his leadership abilities, his motivational skills and his field knowledge to seek to influence his men to fight with him.

3) In the initial process of courtship, both parties tries to put on their best side of themselves to seek to impress the other party. Nicely combed hair, cologne, perfume, lipstick and gloss and all that. In this sense, both are performers as well as audiences.

The 3 examples are not exhaustive though, as such occurences happen on a daily basis.

The world is a place where people react to performances. How you portray yourself on a daily basis, be it subconsciously or consciously, will affect people's views and judgement about you. In analogical term, the way you perform on the world stage will invoke a certain response from the audience, people who surrounds you in your daily life.

Lets see some examples:

1) you are a very pessimistic person who has a very negative outlook on life. You portray a sad look even though you dont realise it consciously, and every word you speak of goes along the line of "sian ah...life sucks,,sch sucks...i hate people...i hate this and that". This is your performance script, and the resulting response can be pretty clear cut. People will steer clear from you because you are just plain negative.

2) You are a very cheerful and warm person. Friendly in all aspects, always helping and smiling. It is reasonably clear that you will be a rather well-liked person.

3) You are a hypocrite, and irritates the hell out of people. You are playing the bad role of a bad performance, and of course like all serial dramas, we all hate the bad guy.

My point is, people do judge you and react accordingly to how you portray yourselves out there, out in the society. Even though there is a saying "don't judge a book by its cover", the fact is that people DO judge a book by its cover, YOUR cover that is. This is why first impression counts alot during interviews.

Another interesting point is that if you are a performer who is very skilled, and knows how to ellicit a certain response by acting in a certain manner, then you have the ability to very well control the crowd, affect their moods, alter their thoughts in the manner you like. This is a very powerful tool to master, and being conscious of how you portray yourself is the first step of understanding this logic. The art of leadership is a great example. This is why great leaders are able to acheive, because they know the dynamics of making things and people work. Of course, all knowledge can be put into bad use, and with regards to this, I shall not write further.

Tip: if you are wondering why people are treating you like shit, maybe the problem lies deep within you. Prepare a new script, and start performing and portraying a better side of you.

The Intricate Balance of Life

2006-08-18T11:26:00.000+08:00

Had the inspiration to think about this during my LSM lecture. When the lecturer was explaining about how delicate proteins structure fold in a certain manner, and thus providing a functional purpose makes me think that Life at the microscopic level is near to perfect. For example, in the structure of enzymes, the protein structure is made up by a defined sequence of amino acids, with each and everyone of them in the correct place. It is with this precision of nature, of the atoms and molecules, and the properties of each atom (e.g electronegatively, inertness, various functional groups such as the COOH carboxylic groups) that Life began at the very microscopic level.

Its even ridiculous and amazing to think about how we humans are actually made up of these atoms, enzymes, cells, and more general, cellular structures, all combining in organismic synergy. It is the precision of nature in the nanoworld, that led to the completion of the macroworld.

Another point of interest is the near perfect living system that is created on Earth. One example is the availability of water, a rarity in many other planets, but essential to lifeform sustainability. Another example is the food web in an ecosystem which delicately balances the population amongst wildlife, insects, plants and all other creatures.

However there is a disturbing issue that concerns me, and that is us Humans, a species that is exploiting the Earth resources at a rate so scary, one that unbalances natural habitats and subsequently leading many other species to extinction. If there is a "higher being, or GOD" out there, I would like to question why was Humans created, and even so, why a creature like us is created with a level of intelligence that is considered superior when compared to others. What is the purpose of this "god-given" intelligence?

I have a theory that seeks to explain this. Perhaps this intelligence given is also an example of precision of nature. Maybe we are not disturbing the true balance of the ecosystem, but rather, we are part of the balance, we are part of the natural foodweb that surrounds all other species. The Darwinian theme of survival of the fittest is clearly demonstrated at the human level. Even politics attest to this, as superpower nations like US seeks to apply military pressure against other nations that are presumably threatening to the US. The constant wars is a form of balance that lowers the worlds population once in a while. Epidemics such as SARs, ebola virus and the plague does so similarly. Human vices such as greed and lust sometimes lead to their death. Natural diseases too keep our population in check. Yet, even with all these examples, the human population is growing at an ever exponential rate. It is perplexing why nature has allowed this to happen, and if this is the plan of nature, maybe the existence of human has a deeper purpose on Earth.

I conclude with the idea that maybe we are all pieces of a well-designed jigsaw puzzle, put in place by a greater being. Maybe he is nature, maybe he is God, or maybe he is just an imaginative figure conjured by our contemporary thoughts. This jigsaw puzzle is eventually complete, not a piece less or a piece more. It is this final complete picture that we are all trying to understand.

Controlling Your Life.

2006-07-16T21:55:00.000+08:00

Life is all about making decisions.

We make our own conscious and unconscious decisions everyday. We wake up in the morning and take a shower because by doing so it freshens you for the rest of the day. We rush to the loo because we have a bladder too full. Sometimes the decisions we make may not be the best one, but a good decision made is certainly not a silly one based on reckless justifications.

I made the unfortunate decision to forego my camp, in which I have spoken to many and informed them of my attendance. In the process of rationalizing the purpose of me going to the camp, I have found that the reasons fall short when compared to me not going to the camp. The top reasons for going included: meeting new friends and knowing more of my coursemates. Yet, I've met and made more friends (or merely aquaintances) than I ever had in the past year. Knowing a few more or a few less won't probably affect my life any much greater (though I am sure I would miss out on some people with a great character). Also, should I am still single, the choice of attending this camp becomes more apparent and obvious. However I have the personal distaste of having your significant-other in the same course and worst still, same class as you. Should there be any unforseen circumstances occuring in your romance or lack thereof, things will remain awkward among the couple as well as the coursemates as well.

Reasons for not attending the camp were aplenty: I am physically tired, and I still am from the hustle and bustle of shifting accomodation. I am also helping out my close ex gaming friends in a translation project of theirs, considering their tight schedule for work completion, it seems more than reasonable to help them out than to go for a camp that lets you have fun and puts you in a worst physical state than before. Besides, I've had the experience of helping and having fun in a camp before this. No doubt it was fun, but sometimes less is more, and perhaps preserving this memory might work better than prolonging it. More than that, I have personal committments to my own hobbies, which I felt that persuit of fun in camps would be more intrusive against my priorities and likings rather than being a welcomed activity I would gladly embrace. Many times I do not justify my decisions to others, unless there is a requirement to. But in retrospect, I felt really good that I've made a pretty good decision in not attending for the camp. It doesn't matter what the camp-mates think of me, or with regards to my decision. My life is mine to live, not for others to judge and certainly not for others to make decisions for me.

The holidays (though I am still studying) seem to be busier compared to during school term. I missed the routined regularities of term time: the earlier wakey, quiet breakfast with close friends, reading of newspapers in the lounge, a little revision, a little quiet time with an ice cold Nescafe, the usual afternoon or midnight jog and the frequent catnaps taken and the late night sleeps. I need a good break to reorganie my life. I always say I need a good break but I seldom force myself to take one. It is weird as when you are feeling rested, you get restless and yearn for some new excitement, some new activity, some new adventure that you would like to set out.

In words that best describe me, I am like a free flying bird that yearns for a doorless cage at times. Yet it is the bird's innate nature that makes it a symbol of freedom - the ability to fly, and fly away from all cages, all restrictions, confines, and lastly reality.

The Art of Language and Knowledge

2006-07-13T15:13:00.000+08:00

"When we say of the castle that it is where the transformation takes place, this is not a limiting but an expanding statement: it refers to the vessel itself, the outer vessel in which the first one is sealed, the laboratory, the laboratory's building, the building's city, the city's county, and so forth. An experienced and introspective metaphorist could point the telescope inward rather than outword, referring to himself as the ultimate vessel of transformation, for turning sights and sounds into thoughts and so forth. We were best to leave this approach to ladies and novelists."
- Clarke Chumbley, "Too little, Too Late: The tragic Peregrinations of a Victorian Alchemist"

The above paragraph fits nicely to the Scientific Methodology module I'm taking this semester. Topics discussed included philosophical aspects of Science. Science, as the barren facts that Science observe, is value free. Yet the manipulators of Science (us), a metaphor similar to pointing the telescope inwards into the Scientist, makes Science value-laden. For what we observe of nature, which is just a fragment of reality, and what we process of the facts through our minds attributes more meanings than just the plain facts itself.

This brings us to Knowledge, and especially written knowledge presented to us in our academic lifetime. Written knowledge, just like facts, is synonymous to musical notes on a scoresheet. It is only through a practioner, a skilled musician, who executes his knowledge of reading musical notes that results in a beautiful melody being played. For an academic, it is through his processing of knowledge, of facts, of observations, that he pens newly processed ideas on paper. The pen and paper now becomes a tool of his trade, just like the musical instrument of a musician, just like the axe of a lumberjack man, just like the laboratory apparatus of a Scientist.

Knowledge alone is never enough. Exercising and practicing knowledge in proper use is key to adding value to yourself, the society and to the world. You are the castle for your own knowledge, as the society is the castle for all its citizens, and ultimately, the Universe is the final castle for all things in existence today.

The purpose of Meetings explained...

2006-07-03T20:23:00.000+08:00

What is the main purpose of a committee meeting? To talk cock? Sing song? Play mahjong?
No! The purpose of meetings is straightforward: to update information from the previous meetings agenda, voice out problems, come to a common decision and create future action plan. What is more important is the latter 2 -- coming to a common decision and creating future action plan. What matters most to me is the execution.

"Don't talk the talk, but walk the walk."

I've been to so many draggy meetings so far and have seen the best and the worst. So lets go through what are some of the key elements of a good meeting.

1) A good meeting is SHORT! It is short and before the meeting is started, a strict ending timeline has to be mentioned. Say your meeting starts at 7pm, all members should be let known that it will be ending at 9pm. Any meeting beyond 1 hr is already pointless, as the quality of contribution drops beyond the hour. Letting them know that it is ending in anothers hour time might increase their productivity. Studies shown that a human's attention span is the best during the first 20 or so minutes of a meeting. Beyond that, everyone goes to sleep.

2) A good meeting has breaks! Even when it is long, it should have breaks to refresh all members.

3) A good meeting depends alot on the chairperson of the meeting. The chairperson should be the one facilitating the meeting as well as the agenda. The chairperson has to cut out people who are drifting away, keep people on track on the topic, shut people who are blabbering pointlessly away. The chairperson should always be thinking: what is the common decision we are suppose to agree on? What is A the future execution plan? He has to manage the time well, allocate timings for each item on the agenda, and keep thigns moving. The chairperson himself need not contribute to the ideas discussed, but he is a facilitator. A chairperson who does not know how to facilitate lets the meetings drag on forever and forever.

4) A good meeting has members who knows how to shut up. I have a theory that if there are girls in a meeting, they have a high tendency to speak and drift away from common topic. For girls and ladies, in an attempt to build connection, starts chatting away like they are chatting to friends on a daily basis. YAK YAK YAK... In my opinion as a guy, I truly hate it when people beat about the bush during meetings.

4 points of a good meeting coming from me. There are plenty more coming from leadership-improvement books but thats up to you to read up and find them out.

The Art (Essence) of Leadership

2006-07-03T12:46:00.000+08:00

To me, the essence of Leadership is as simple as this:

You lead because you want the best for the people you lead.

If you are chosen to lead due to the nature of appointment, and you are leading just because you are appointed to do so, then you are at best a phoney-leader. You are just someone who won't give it all during your tasks, someone who just wants to cruise through, someone who doesn't care about those people whom you lead.

To lead, and to lead well requires you to have the pre-requisite of liking people. You have to like people before you can lead well. Because when you like people, you will want the best for them, to take care of them, to achieve together the best possible outcome in every task. Why bother to go through all the planning sessions, meetings, safety aspects and briefings, and more and more briefings to inform people you lead? This is not about going-thru-motion (meaning - doing things for the sake of doing it...and not seeing the purpose of doing things). Its about caring for them, thus you want to give them as much as you can before they execute a task.

The act of liking people also requires you to have another pre-requisite -- liking yourself. Here is a quote from me:

Before you can love others, you must love yourself. Before you can love yourself, you must start loving things around you.

Loving things around you entails taking care of the objects around you - your room, your bed, your grooming, your appearance, the way you act, the way to treat nitty gritty things with respect. This is in essence, knowing how to take care of yourself. I have seen so many people who do not know how to take care of themselves. They have no idea of room hygiene, no idea of the diet to eat, no idea of curing a wound, no idea of safety issues occuring in daily life. Once you are able to see positives in the objects around you, you can then start seeing positives in yourself.

You need to like yourself before you can start liking others. This is so true. How much you like yourself is a measure of your confidence. Its something like zi lian(chinese term for liking oneself, has a negative connotation), but don't you people realise that zi lian people are more often then not, very likeable? The reason is because they are so at ease with themselves and hence they appear very at ease with others. When you like yourself, you are at ease with yourself and others.

This article reflects my leadership style. Its akin to servant leadership, but I believe true leadership is one that does not have a fixed style. your leadership style should adapt to situations required. For example, your tone of leadership should be easy and relax in the context of fun (for example, freshman camps), whilst your tone of leadership should be affirmative and direct in serious issues (policy making, competitions). A good leader is adaptable, likewise for his leadership style.

Thats all from me for now.

Perhaps I'm doing too much for my/others own good.

2006-06-30T00:43:00.000+08:00

I think I need to step down from my high ethos of values and excellence. Perhaps I need to stop expecting too much from myself and others, and just take a step back and "relak one corner". Perhaps I need to stop doing so many things for others, and start doing things for myself. Perhaps I shouldn't bother anymore.

I've yet to lose my temper for ages, but this time round, I was pretty sickened by what had happened. On hindsight, maybe I was wrong in my explanation and directions given. So sick that I just wanted to step away, and just concentrate on what is ahead.

I guess its the recent string of events that lead to what happened so far. Have been expecting too much and getting disappointed with some people. Maybe I lost track of my priority of values. Health, family, relationships and work in this order. At times, the boundaries between values become a blur that even I myself can't see clearly.

Perfectionism is a virtue as well as a bane.

Article Published!!!

2006-06-26T14:38:00.000+08:00

In July version of Electronic Gaming Monthly (EGM) Singapore,

7 Signs you're a Video Game Addict.

The finished article is less than 10% of the original one, with input that is from the editor himself. Take a look.

Here is the original piece:

Confessions of a Hardcore Gamer

Introduction

Many of you who are regular visitors of this site could have been victims of love: falling in love with gaming and/or a particular game. You call it passion, trying your very best to avoid the term “addiction”. When the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning is the game you are hopelessly addicted to, you know you are there – the league of hardcore gamers.

In this article, we will have a lighthearted discussion (not to be taken seriously of course!) of some aspects of our lives that are influenced by the passion of hardcore gamers. They include: daily routine of hardcore gamers; health and fitness; food; social life; gaming peripherals; and lastly social life. Also we will look into the future direction of the gaming industry, and what kind of new-age gamers will this new industry spurn. So read on and enjoy!

Daily routine of a hardcore gamer

You wake up in the morning, and you think about the game. “Hmm how much gold should I farm today? I’m going to raid and get this uber 1337 epic !” Sometimes you skip brushing your teeth, washing your face, eating your breakfast. For many hardcore gamers, the very first thing they do is to execute their favorite game program when they wake up (They don’t even need to turn on their computers, because they don’t even switch it off!). Then you start checking your virtual email(mailbox for WOW); whether your gaming kakis are online or dead, sleeping; and that’s it, you start playing until disaster strikes.

For a hardcore gamer, disaster can be anything like a phone call from your girlfriend, pee-breaks, lunch and dinner time, and to the hardest of the hardest core players, bedtime. I believe someone has set a guinness world record by playing games continuously non-stop without sleeping. I also believe someone has died doing that. So TADA! Basically, that is the daily routine of a hardcore gamer presented to you!

Health and Fitness

Your general physical fitness shall remain status quo or perhaps drop a little. However you gain certain things and skills that no one except a hardcore gamer could. You will find yourself having extremely agile fingers. You can remember all your keyboard macro bindings. You can move your mouse to the precision of 1 pixel of the computer screen. Your “micro” hand-eye coordination skills improve. Your mental agility also picks up. You can pre-amp your opponents move before they themselves know what they are doing.

Food

It appears that all the tastiest food in the world is reduced to only one: fast food. Now that many of the fast food outlets offer delivery services, the absolute hardcore gamer does not even need to get out of his house to attend to this “disaster” of his. Pick up the phone, dial the number that you have effortless memorized, and WALA! Food appears. And you heartily eat them above your gaming keyboard, watch the food crumbs drop everywhere while you remain nonchalantly clicking away your mouse, playing your game.

While you treat eating as something that keeps you alive to game, you painstakingly take care of the food you feed to your online character (if you play MMORPGS). “No! Via can’t eat that, he needs to eat this! So that his stamina and mana will increase by 10% and he can cast more frostbolts! OMG! I need that new recipe that gives me +500 to both HP and mana!” You have become a chef in the virtual world.

Social Life

Your real-life social life reduces to only one genre, which is your gaming kakis. You will find people calling you by your nick-names, rather than your real names. Sometimes even after years, your gaming kakis don’t even know your real name.

Your virtual social life also increases when you start building a reputation based on your nickname. “Omg it’s VIA again…that chao camper…He always hides in that corner and kill noobs all the time. I am going to screw him this time….” You become known in the local community, and if you are really good like John “Fatality”, you can become a global merchandise.

Gaming Peripherals

You own the best of the best equipment your bank account could offer. Widescreen LCD screens, glow-in-the-dark 999999999 DPI mousse, diamond-smooth mousepads, top-end CPU and etc. The only time you get out of your house is when your gaming equipment fails you. Now that some computer shops offer delivery services, you may think twice about stepping out of your house to get that spoilt mouse replaced. However don’t forget you are a hardcore gamer. You need that thing now! NOW! And there you go, stepping out of the house, hailing a taxi, getting to Sim Lim Square and get the stuff you want, hail a taxi again, and back to home-sweet-game.

The New-Age Hardcore Gamer

When one thinks of a new-age hardcore gamer, one can immediately associate to “Fatality”. He is by far, the most successful full time professional gamer in our time. Even Creative (our pride of Singapore) has his brand name in their Soundblaster soundcard series. “Fatality” as a person, if you know him, is unlike the atypical hardcore gamer described in the above paragraphs. He is the ideal living definition of a new-age 3G hardcore gamer.

So what does all these entail for an aspiring Singapore hardcore gamer like you?
Recently, a player requested permission from MP Vivian Balakrishnan to defer his National Service so as to allow him the timeframe to compete in an overseas competition. In an effort to best prepare the competing team, they went through a series of strict diet, psychological training as well as pre-competition overseas training, all provided by the local gaming scene and supported by the Government. This example proves a point: 3G E-sports is here to stay and it is a new booming industry. For an aspiring 3G gamer, the calling to be one is here!

The new 3G gamer minimizes the negative aspects mentioned above in the article. He is one who follows a healthy diet, knowing that a good frame of mind starts with a good diet. He is one who hits the gym, takes the occasional windsurfing and canoeing, understanding that a healthy lifestyle is of paramount importance to hardcore gaming. He is one who utilizes the best of current technology could offer. He is one who has strong roots in the gaming community and builds his social life around it. He is a globe-trotter, traveling round the world competing, while enjoying his holiday trips. In summary, a new-age 3G gamer is nothing like before. The calling is upon you, take up the challenge, and you can be HIM!

Conclusion

Falling in love with a game is a very beautiful thing. Its akin to falling in love with an opposite sex. Sometimes such infatuation can screw up many aspects of your life, and in the worse case scenario, get yourself killed. There is an uncanny resemblance in both cases, falling in love with a game and with someone else.

The new definition of a hardcore gamer revolutionizes everything. It is much more than just falling in love with the game. It is much more encompassing. It is much more satisfying. It is everything a gamer would want to be!

About the Author

Leslie was a self-confessed hardcore gamer in the past. He started his gaming stint with Counterstrike Beta 4, tagging along clans like CsT, RaZ[3] and |PwA| before he got sick of the blatant cheating during his time. He is known for his weird and gay nicks such as Fragger, VaE-Victis, and other funny latin nicks that he himself can’t remember. He quit CS and went on to Quake 3 for a while, before the call of O-levels took him away from virtual reality. Till then, he has played World of Warcraft under the alias of “Via” in Gorgonnash alliance server, and he has quit playing games for good to focus on all other aspects of life he has missed out during his gaming stint. Now he is a Chemical Engineering student in NUS and is doing freelance writing. You can contact him via MSN at cyzlesli@hotmail.com.

Is there Originality left in today's context?

2006-06-16T11:29:00.000+08:00

As I handed up my script for my special term exam, I was caught in two minds. First I was elated that I scored my first A in NUS in my term paper, and then handing up a script that I thought that I am confident in. Second, I felt a little sick at the fact that a near 90% of what I wrote inside is not ORIGINAL. 90% of the content was what that was said in lectures by the lecturer, discussed in tutorials, and some of the points written are adapted from external readings.

In a world where originality and creativity is highly sought after, these are becoming exceedingly rare in todays context. Exams serve as means of testing our knowledge, in the expense of originality and creativity, and the grades are a reflection of how not original and creative we are. I believe, in most cases if you score A, especially on engineering topics, it is because of your hardwork of grinding and memorising details, instead of coming up with something new and creative, and ORIGINAL.

Again, in a world where most laws of the universe are already formulated, most observations studied by sociologists, most medicine and cures invented by doctors, nothing much in the world is left for us to discover already. The real Originals are classic personas of our time: Einstein, Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Nostradamus, Galileo. These are intellectual role models for me. I believe they have a brain just like any father mother son in this world. Its just that they are able to tap into those parts where we normal beings could not. It is said that we average people use only a very small percentage of our brain on a daily basis. If we can unlock that percentage, we can achieve alot in our life. This is why we have interesting people in our time: Hitler (unlocking his brain for redefining evil), LKY (created an entire modern city state in the middle of malay states), George Bush (a mockery of a warmonger and a comedian). I believe these people are great intellectual beings, people who deserve respect despite of their doings or wrongdoings.

Yet again, we have to discuss originality in the context of your personal experience or society. If you are ignorant of facts, anything that is new that comes into your mind, you believe that it is orginal. Do a search then on google, and you will find that your original idea is outdated. In undeveloped countries, for example, if a african couple discovers a new position of having...ermm...they will think that WOW they are so original. But little did they know that there is already a Kama Sutra book that is so globalised and commercialised around the world.

So what is originality? Who determines what is original? Japanese people are thought to be the most creative and original people because of the products they sell. Its so novel and interesting. Why is it so that that country can have the people to do such stuff? I believe it is the culture of the place. A culture that promotes free will and thinking, and embraces deviant thoughts, thoughts that are not streamlined, thoughts that are not the norm. Thoughts that scoring As in exams is not the only way to survive. Thoughts that there is so much more in life besides getting a good education.

Now as I look back at this article, I ask: "what percentage of this article is original?"

Originality.

Funniest and Ugliest Softtoys

2006-06-14T21:54:00.000+08:00

A 10 bucks charity softtoy that is abit modified.

Levis softtoy. My favorite ugliest teddy bear.

My Cat killed me, then HE gave me back my life.

2006-06-13T16:53:00.000+08:00

Sometime back in Dec 04, just before I entered my house at the doorfront after a long day of work, my youngest brother warned me, "KOR! got cat! Don't step!"

He pointed to a blue ball of towel (those dishcleaning type) and all I could make out then was a towel. It was until upon closer inspection that I realise there is a mini-furball within that ball of towel. HE was just about the size of 1 and 1/2 coke cans. There HE lay, eyes closed, sleeping and sucking his minute paws, unawares of my looming presence.

My family has longed decided to get a housecat. By fate or coincidence, my brother picked up a stray infant, orphaned too if I remember. I'd start looking forward to going home, just to play with HIM. He was the one bonding our family. We would watch him suckle on milk and get choked(we will all laugh..what a sadist), watch him get frightened by hamsters, scratch our hands. Little did I know that we are rearing and growing a monster allergen that would eventually 'kill' me.

My health took a turn for the worse as HE grew. Initially I didn't know what was the cause of my decline. It was due to sudden boredom that I chanced upon a website describing cat allergies. All my symptoms are exact description on the website. Luckily though, I was the only one in the family who is allergic, else the fate of the cat will be saddening.

I was so sick at this point of time that if there is a closest point of time of me dying, this would be it. I was depressed of my state of health. I had to do something about it. The thought of throwing our cat away was impossible, as HE is the love of my family. Instead, I had to throw myself away. When the chance to stay at PGP came, I grabbed it. I was dead. But my cat resurrected me and gave me back my life.

Recently, a close friend of mine revealed his sad situation to me. His cousin, a well known girl with a bright personality (NUS sheares hall, block head) died in a fatal car accident. We were discussing about this, and he remained very shocked and sad at the way he is reminded of life's fragility.

"It takes a death to get people thinking and appreciate life."

This was what he said during our discussion. Exactly, I remembered the countless times I have neared death and escaped them. The previous 2 lady drivers (Lady drivers...my god...) who has almost killed me when I was jogging, my allergies with my Cat, my recent heatstroke. These has further reaffirmed my outlook of life. It is ironic that as this SERIOUS theme of life and death is being discussed, you will eventually realise that life should not be taken that seriously at all. Everyday, we worry about the silliest things in the world: Do I look good, look fat? My grades suck,and I have yet to study for this and that, my everything suck. I can't play games, I'm afraid my boss will scold me..etc etc. After all that has happened to me, I have formed the opinion that worrying is the greatest time waster. I can spend better time doing other things such as reading books, exercising, writing articles other than worrying.

These spate of events, my cat forcing me out of home, getting to PGP, meeting with some of the marvelous peeps in hostel life has changed me a great deal. I have been thinking, these sequence of events are by no means coincidental. There seems to be the existence of a "greater being" from somewhere who is guiding us. This "greater being" may be GOD (in the context of christians) or some other guiding values. (Btw, I do not favor nor dislike Christianity, for there are some teachings and practices in christianity that I applaud as well as dislike.) Things seem to happen for a reason. Now you wonder if there is ever such a thing as fate or coincidences. Is there someone conjuring, controlling and planning such incidences of fate and coincidences?

I love my cat. Everytime I go home (occasionally), I am reminded of my painful ordeal. Sore eyes, flu, skin allergies whenever I stay overnight. But I am grateful for this little creature, who has entered my life in a seemingly coincidental manner.

The Dynamics of Aerobic Fitness

2006-06-12T00:46:00.000+08:00

I shall relate to you readers on the dynamics of aerobic fitness : be it jogging, running, swimming, cycling, or other forms of aerobic exercises. Based on my experience, we shall discuss the beginnings, difficulties, emotions and in general, how our human body reacts and respond in the build up of aerobic fitness.

The Zero Fitness Stage:

You are well accustomed to the air-conditioned surroundings of your classrooms, offices, lecture halls, sleeping room, or in the best cases, your bath-room. You sweat within seconds when you are exposed to the Sun. You skin is as pale as DOVE.

You decided to take a jog, in a bid to try to get fitter. On the first 100m, you feel okay. Next 100m, your panting. Another 100m, your thighs burn. Last 100m, you call it a day.

You return home with a soar thigh, spinning head, upset stomach. You feel like SHIT. You sweat profusely even after you bathed and washed up. Because of this tramatic jog, you decide never to go jogging again. Your fitness has not improved, and you, your mind limits yourbody that you are not suited for the fitness path. Jogging is something you will never try again because of that single traumatic experience.

The Persistence Stage:

The more persistant and determined people will go for their second jog. This time, they felt that they can go further. Their thighs burn at the 800m mark, rather than at 200m. They feel they can breathe easier. They cover a greater distance this time, much more than the 400m they did the last time.

This time, they go home with a smile on their faces. They feel good, they feel they have done a good workout. They look at their mirrors and see an imaginary 6-pack ready to pop out. They go to bed thinking of their fitness future because they had a good second workout, much much better than the first.

The reason why this occurs is because the body is conditioned after the first jog. YOU DONT GAIN FITNESS in just 1 day! Fitness is progressive, it has a steep gaining curve. It is not something you buy at a supermarket. As your body gets conditioned (your skeletal muscles getting attuned to the mechanical movements of jogging; your lungs getting a good rhymic breathing sequence etc), you jog better, you feel better, you yearn for more!

The steep improvement stage:

Because of the last positive experience, you start to like jogging more. You jog almost everyday, or every other day. You improve like mad. I don't wanna waste time describing more. In essence, everytime you jog you feel like you are an kenyan runner. Your aerobic fitness improves.

How do you judge your aerobic fitness? One way is to measure your rest heart rate per minute. An average normal person at our age (18-25) should have around 60-80 beats/min. The lower your rest heart rate, the fitter you are because your heart pumps slower but harder to transport Oxygen around your body. For me, my heart rate per minute lingers around 50-60. Breaking below 50 requires fitness training over a prolonged period of time, or some high altitude training, training that limits your O2 supply.

The maintenance stage:
There comes a point when you feel that you cant improve anymore, (because all this while you have been self-training). I believe hiring a personal fitness coach, altering your diet will aid in further improvement. Now you jog just to maintain fitness.

At this stage, you will notice miraculous changes in your body patterns.You find you can concentrate better during work. You find that you can sleep less hours but wake up more refreshed. You will start eating less each meals, but you will tend to have more meals during the day. You are always hungry, but eating just abit will satisfy your constant hunger. When you have not jogged for days, you feel stressed! After you jogged, you feel like your in heaven. Some people say such kind of runners high is better than sex. You are now a kenyan champion runner.

The addiction stage:

Running is now a drug to you. You can't live without it, you get high with it. Your life mechanical gears revolves around getting fit. You sleep well when you jog 10 km, but you toss and turn if you hadnt exercised for the day. It is kind of a sad situation to be in, but it is healthy!

P.S I do not know if this dynamics of fitness applies to everyone, but it does certainly to me. Hope this helps budding aspiring fitnessfreaks to be. Persistence and determination always pays. You just need a strong enough motivating factor to keep you fit.

The Sorry state of an industrial-capitalist Society

2006-06-08T19:33:00.001+08:00

Singapore is a modern industrial-capitalist society.

cap·i·tal·ism (kăp'ĭ-tl-ĭz'əm) pronunciation
n.

An economic system in which the means of production and distribution are privately or corporately owned and development is proportionate to the accumulation and reinvestment of profits gained in a free market.

Take note of the terms "development" and "accumulation and reinvestment of profits". In my opinion, the quest for "development" with the end game of "money" in mind is a root of many evils. "Money is the root of all evils". This statement is not necessarily true, but I believe it is the root of MOST evils.

The most significant advantage of an industrial-capitalist society is the increase of living standards. We get better accomodation, hygiene standards, healthcare, entertainment and in general, a better lifestyle. Also, such a society creates and provides jobs for people, and with so, provides them with an disposable income to pay for their living standards. With such income, a consumerism culture is generated. A supply of goods, together with the demands stemming from a consumerism culture leads to an endless cycle of earning and spending. Teenagers will pay money for branded goods, adults seek better living standards by purchasing a nice house or a car, people of all ages going for holidays and many other examples you can think of on a daily basis. (e.g the choice of food we eat, places we go, clothing we wear)

One have to look at the path we, sad dwellings in an industrial-capitalist society, have taken to land ourselves in this sad cycle of spending and earning. From young, we are told that education is the most important thing in our lives. We need to score As. We study so hard, sometimes at the expense of personal morals and ethics, sometimes at the expense of interpersonal relationships, sometimes at the expense of our own health. So we score As!. When we graduate from school finally, we land a job that gives us a decent income to survive and entertain ourselves. We live comfortably, but in my opinion, very few of us are contented with what we have and we yearn to earn more. With so, we upgrade our qualifications in a bid to seek for a higher pay. And again, we earn more, spend more, and the cycle rinses and repeat.

The list of examples, besides the linear one given above, is not exhaustive. Take a closer observation with this example which is closer to our hearts. Now that it is holiday time, many university undergrads are desperately seeking for part/full time jobs because they need the money. Some need the money jsut to survive their daily meals, others need the money so that they can spend more money! Take a step back and look at this situation: doesn't this look like a very sad state we, dwellings of such a society, are in?

Compare us to some underdeveloped African savanna nations. (Just let your imagination run wild). They are agricultural people. They do their job tending to their crops, feeding their herd and extracting resources from them. They have no fixed timetable for work. When the kids feel like playing, they just run all over their fields and play. They have no notion of money. If you give them a new soccer ball for them to kick about, it can be the best play toy they will ever receieve. Let's now give them a happiness scale. If the kids recieve a new football, i am sure this act will break their happiness scale! But look at us, if we recieve a football and play football on a weekly basis, we take it for granted and that such an act is just "something we do regularly". The happiness index is more or less on a 5 or 6 upon 10.

To develop this discussion further, we have to notice that there is always an income-gap existing in such societies. The rich get richer, while the poor tries very hard just to survive and not get any more poorer. Such a dire situation inevitably explains crime. When a desparate and poor person living in such a society has no money, no food, no shelter, no drink, he does the inevitable - crime. People do steal, beg, and even kill to survive. Its a irony to think that in a quest for "development" in an industrial-capitalist state, an unintended consequence of crime is also developed.

This leads us a series of question: Is living in an industrial-capitalist society worth it? Do we like to be trapped in such a cycle explained above? Or do we want to be really free of the concept of capitalism, the concept of money, the concept of working for a living (or worst still, and this apparently applies to some people: living for working.) How truely happy are we in this sorry state of society?

I leave it up to you people to decide for yourself.

Zouk....Tales of the Club

2006-06-08T10:46:00.000+08:00

Crazy night out with the NJ soccer guys, with special mention to Glass(Jesus), and Larry with his harem of girls. And of course kudos to the botak POP boys, zouk and mambo were marred with a mini POP dancing parade.

It was kinda fun to see Sanjay hitting and groping the chins and faces of our group guys. Guess that 2 jugs of Long Island Tea did him great alcohol justice.
"Don't mess too much with alcohol" He was never to be seen after awhile. ahhahahahaha

Let me try to categorize ppl who go to clubs.

Lets start with the girls
1) A group of girls (from 3-6 or more), always dancing among themselves on the dancefloor. It usually consists of 1 veryyyyyyy hot looking babe, and a few average ones, and the rest...erm...insert adjective up to your own personal discourse. As they dance in their mini circle, guys will be lingering on the peripherals of the circle. Supposedly, they are just here for a girls night out and just having fun they way they like it.

2) The lone ranger. I think her purpose there is straightforward. She is the one who dances from guys to guys. Plenty of body contact. And if she is great looking enough, guys form a circle around her and treat her like a pole.

Guys:
1) Similarly a group of guys. Out here just for a group of fun? There are those who dance in a circle (like we did) on the dance floor. There are those who split up and do their fishing individually. There are those who just stand by the side watching all the action going on. But I simply guess most are there to just look at chicks and have a great time, chilling out with the nice drinks. Getting wasted by AKs and Long Island tea.

2) The player. A good one works alone. A good one with a good plan works with his wingmen. You can see them goign from girls to girls. His purpose there is pretty straightforward too!

3) The dance king. He is there week in week out, always dancing on the podium with well orchestrated and choreographed mambo moves. He is the man, and once he gets up, he never gets down! hahahahahhaa. This guy doesnt seem to be interested in girls though, so some may question his sexual orientation, together with what his dance moves might suggest.

Closing time:
Very interesting. You will see:
1) Group of guys lingering outside the club. Seemingly clueless on what to do. Some just chatting up, getting a smoke, enjoying the clean air. Soem are still ogling at girls who exited. Some have sad face. Others have victorious faces.

2) The pukers. They puke everystep they take. Minus more points if they puke on your shoe. Minus lagi more if they puke on you! Inclusive of guys and girls.

3) The unstable walkers. They are the ones who cant walk straight. Some crash onto the barricading fences. Some do a combo...walk unstably, crash onto fence with head droppign over, then finishing move is a classic puke.

4) Girls who still want some action. They are so high, and still so high that they continue to dance outside of the club.

5) Girls who cant hold their liqour. The good ones just sit down looking like a dazed statue. The better ones are totally knocked out and get carried away by their "friends", usually a guy. What happens next is questionable.

6) And of course the classic couple walking away together. Hailing a cab or in their car.

The clubbing scene is a place of fun and sleeze. It is labelled a nightlife entertainment centre, but the inner dynamics of what is happening proves so much otherwise. Together with the use of alcohol that dulls your rationality and boosts your animal instinct, the dancefloor becomes a primal jungle where many, guys and girls alike, do their mating dances in a bid to fulfil the purpose of human existence.

Great night, now I feel like a halfdead zombie with a horse dick in my throat. So irritating, and I guess my day is pretty much wasted after last night escapede.

Steamboats!!!

2006-06-05T18:52:00.000+08:00

Current Titans peeps + Focusplay Gang + Ex RaZ[3].

NUS 4B Class

Focusplay: The Gaming Scene Now

2006-06-05T14:48:00.000+08:00

http://www.focusplay.com/

Article entry on : The Gaming Scene now is up on focusplay website.

Do take a look.

Pics uploaded..

2006-06-05T08:02:00.000+08:00

Check it out under My Pics link...

You may see yourself inside!

Measure of a Man's Worth

2006-06-04T22:28:00.000+08:00

What is it, that measures a man's worth?

Is it the number of zeros in his bank account?
Is it having a CAP score of 5.0?
Is it having a Ph.D or Masters degree?
Is it having the coolest car or motorbike around in town?

The answer is no to all the questions above. What defines a man's worth, in my opinion, is his CONFIDENCE.

Based on my personal view, there are three levels of confidence a man could have. In ascending order of greater confidence, here goes:

1) No/Zero/Low Confidence

These are the very quiet guys. I suppose most social introverts fall into this category, though not all introverts have low confidence. They are afraid to voice out their opinions, for they fear what they speak hold no value, and they fear rejection by his listeners. These are the people whom we know by the names only, and nothing else of their character, their interests, their passion, their life.

There are also people who are extroverts but have low confidence. They talk alot, speak alot, brag alot. But when it comes to crunch time, their confidence fails them and they fail.

When they die, their names appear on the condolesces page, people see, people weep, people forget.

2) Brash/Outward Confidence.

These are the exact opposite of social introverts. They are the people who just can't shutup, and go on and on bragging their achievements, what they have done, what they have not done, how many pretty girls they have hooked up and slept with, how they are the best 'guy' on earth and something like that. They do pretty well in life, enjoy moderate success with life and girls, yet people in this categories have few good friends among them. They are in the class of arrogance, overconfidence, cocky and proud.

When they die, similarly they appear on the condolesces page, and in a crude manner, people are happy to see their names appearing on them.

3) Quiet/Innate Confidence.

These category of men are comfortable under their own skin. They know their talents, but do not show the need to prove them. When the time comes, people will eventually know their innate talents. They are confident of airing their personal views, not afraid to show their feelings, know when to shutup and listen when others are talking, and most importantly, show respect to his peers and aquaintances. In my opinion (as I told a friend recently):

"When you reach a stage of your life, knowing that you do not have to prove anything to anyone besides yourself, you know you are a decent man."

Think about it, on a daily basis, we always do things to prove to others how good we are. We study hard to prove to parents and peers that we are smart. We do the things we are good at to validate to others of our skills and talents. We speak on topics we are good in over makan sessions to emphasize our knowledge.

When you know you do not have to prove your self worth, you are someone with innate and quiet confidence. You dont have to prove anything, to anyone. Others will get to know your worth one way or another. When you reach this stage, you wont even need to introduce yourself to others (when you meet new people). People will gravitate to you and know your name way in advance.

When people like that die, their names also appear on the newspapaper. People weep, cry, and they will miss them. These are people who will be remembered for ages. They are not just statistics on a demographic census. They are REAL people with a REAL passion for living.

Another theory of mine is that, you are not born to fit in any of these 3 categories for life. You are in either one of these categories due to the circumstaces or environment you have been in. You are a consequence of your life experience. My point is, as one matures, you can move from one level of confidence to another. Even the quietly confident guy can become someone with low confidence when something horrible happens to him.

So, another big question. How to build one's confidence? Some quick answers from myself:

1) Focus on character development. Be it in academic, social, mental, physical. Be a good all rounder. Sounds easy, but hard. It is only hard when you dont start trying. It sounds easy afterall, seriously.

2) Have hobbies. These are things that help build up your talent. Personally I have a multitude of hobbies. Guitar, soccer, badminton, sleeping, reading, writing, gaming (in the past that is). Dont be afraid to try new things. Do something different everyday.

3) Have an interest in everything and people. Human resource is most important to me. When you value people, it will show in your relationships with others. Be curious about others, be curious about everything in this world. This will also spark your enthusiasm for learning and trying out new stuff.

There are more tips, but you will have to find out yourself. This ain't spoonfeeding btw.

So how does one measure his own personal level of confidence?
The answer is: NO! ONE DOES NOT MEASURE HIS OWN LEVEL OF CONFIDENCE.

Your level of confidence is measured by others! Not by you, yourself!
Again remember the theme of "not needing to prove anything to anyone". Others will validate you. Not the other way around.

There are some other signs that validate your confidence. Based on my observation, here are:

1) Do you ask others out for makan? and will your friends ask you out for makan or any outings? People like to hang around with happy people. They seldom call quiet peeps out because they are such a bore. If you are the social networker, people will ask you out automatically.

2) The type of friends you hang out with. Do you only hang out with one particular group of friends? Or do you mix with friends from all backgrounds? People who are shy and less confident only mix with groups of friends they are comfortable with. They feel that meeting new friends, enlarging their social circle is something that is very uncomfortable to do. A confident guy again, is a social magnet. He is able to blend in to any social group. He does not require company, but he is a great company to be with. He has a good mix of friends, friends who are poor, rich, ugly, pretty, smart, less-smart, different races etc etc.

3) In a crude manner, this can be a very good measure of a guy's worth. Are girls attracted to you? A guy's confidence can be reflected by the company of girls he hangs out with. When you go clubbing, do you see the smooth guys getting all the girls he wants? Thats a sign of confidence. Those loners will sit alone, with beer in their hands, ogling at girls, and ogling at guys who snag up girls. (Btw, I do not like clubbing. I think it is a very sleezy place to go do. A club is the embodiment of sex. Nothign but sex, in a crude fashion.)

So thats all from me.
Have a nice day.

SSA Term paper: Symbolic Representations of Singapore, the MINDEF website

2006-06-02T12:30:00.000+08:00

Introduction

The birth of SAF began on 12 March 1957, when the First Singapore Infantry Regiment (1 SIR) was formed. (Choy 2000: 4 : 3). Today, the SAF has grown to become a striving organization that is renowned in the world. In the About Us section of the MINDEF website (http://www.mindef.gov.sg/imindef/home.html), the SAF Mission stands true:

“The Mission of the Singapore Armed Forces is to enhance Singapore’s peace and security through deterrence and diplomacy, and should these fail, to secure a swift and decisive victory over the aggressor.”

Also stated in the means of achieving this mission is that “MINDEF is committed to strengthening the military, manpower, and technological edge of the SAF, ……” In this paper, we shall discuss on how the MINDEF homepage website serves as a means of achieving their stated mission, as well as how it represents Singapore, together with her defence, have evolved into a modern nation. We will also look into, in particular, the official SAF history represented under their History Snippets section, and how it serves a greater and deeper purpose. Certain themes such as survival, struggle, vulnerability, deterrence, modernity and the use of symbolism and the media will be highlighted through the study of our topic of interest.

As the MINDEF website holds an extensive amount of information that reflects our nation’s modernity, we shall limit our scope and select specific data, discuss the interpretations and analysis given to them. The format of the paper will be as follows. First an observation from the website will be taken and represented, then we shall analyze and attribute relevance to the theme of modernity of Singapore. We will move from a macro perspective, first the overall site layout as well as the information presented on the Home Page, then to the micro level of the History Snippets section.

Background

In this paper, primary research data is obtained from the main website that we are interested in (http://www.mindef.gov.sg/). This website has many interconnected links to their news, publications, internal resources, journals and even the SAFRA radio. As such, we shall limit primary research data to the extensive links that are contained in this website.

Secondary research data shall come in the form of internet links, books, readings as well as personal experience in the Arms Forces that do not appear in the primary research website. Being a regular-servicemen as an officer in the Arms Forces, I believe my personal experience would be relevant in this topic, though there may be some form of inherent biasness as my personal experience does not reflect the general population cohort. This secondary research shall be listed appropriately in the References section.

Macro Perspective – MINDEF Home Page

The most striking part of the Home Page is the News section. Updated frequently, news related to military exercises held in conjunction with other nations is reported in great detail. (See United States and Singapore in Naval Exercise CARAT 2006, SAF medical team swings into action in Indonesia etc). In essence, such news reflects the true purpose of SAF, that is to “enhance Singapore’s peace and security through deterrence and diplomacy”. Diplomacy is the key to Singapore as well as the SAF survival and success, and any joint-exercises or aid providence given to needy countries will not be left unreported. The quick reporting and updating of the news section also reflects one of the many characteristics of a modern city-state, that is the proliferation of mass media (Wikepedia: Modernity). It is in this news section that presents what the SAF actually do to the general public. This purpose of presenting updated news to the public is to act as a form of deterrence, as other nations would know how well-equipped (based on the website itself, oblivious to the actual reality in our barracks) the SAF is and that it is detrimental to pick a fight with SAF.

Besides the updating of diplomatic news, news related to the implementation and utilization of new technology is also presented. On the left column under the Site Highlights section, the website is proud to highlight RSAF use of “most sophisticated and advanced multi-role fighter aircraft in the world.” On the right column under the Weapons section, the website proudly presents their recently launched high-technology weapons to the world. When a reader clicks on a specific weapon, a great amount of detail is given: the specifications, capabilities and special features. Instead of keeping their newly developed weapons in top secrecy, the openness of the website only serves to explain the deterrence effect. We see that the embrace of new technology in SAF weaponry is also another characteristic of modernity. (Wikepedia: Modernity)

With the myriad of topics posted on the homepage broadcasting SAF strong diplomatic ties with other nations, together with the use of top-end technology, it seem to show an element of invulnerability of the organization and the country. Yet we all know that Singapore exists as a small dot on the world map, and with a lack of a natural hinterland and natural resources, we are a very vulnerable city-state. How does Singapore fix this paradox of vulnerability? For one, human resource is the most valued resource in this nation. There is great emphasis placed on educating youths and recruiting foreign talents. While recruiting foreign talent in the SAF could be problematic due to security reasons, educating and providing the best for local talents are constant processes on-going in the organization. Based on my personal experience back in Officer Cadet School, potential leaders are scouted and tested with key appointments. Should they show further potential, they are invited for military scholarship interviews such as Singapore Arms Forces Overseas Scholarship (SAFOS), SAF Merit Scholarship (SMS) and SAF Academic Scholarship (SAS or SAS-military). (Army Recruitment Website). These scholarships allow our local talents with leadership potential to fully develop in renowned overseas universities. When they graduate, they shall return to the organization and add value to the SAF. This is an example of how the SAF nurture our local human resource for the purpose of strengthening their military capabilities, hence fulfilling their mission statement.

Micro Perspective – History Snippets

Under the History Snippets section found in the About Us header link, we see that the history of SAF is categorized into 4 parts: The Early Years; World War II; Bith of the SAF; and lastly A Maturing SAF. In the first part of The Early Years, we see that the history of SAF presented in this website traces back to 1819 – The February Documents. (Ng, 1997: 1: 2) This is exactly the same as the official Singapore national history that is taught in our education system. We traced our past back to our colonial beginnings and it was with this British related origins (following Britain Industrial Revolution) that saw Singapore rise as an industrial-capitalist society. This is again one of the characteristics that define a modern society. (Wikepedia: Modernity).

In the second part of World War II, we see recurrent themes of struggle and survival in the links presented. Article titles such as 1941 - War comes to Singapore, 1942 - The British Surrender, 1945 - The End of Japanese Occupation and 1942 - Remembering 15 February serve as a reminder to us as well as other nations that Singapore’s defence lies solely in our own hands. Such representation of history is ideological in nature. The underlying themes are constantly brought out, hence justifying the need for our own defence.

The third part of Birth of the SAF boasts the most number of articles. Articles like 1959 - Singapore's State Arms, Flags and National Anthem and 1961 - The SAF Crest - A Unifying Force seek to bring out the symbolic representations of Singapore, creating a sense of national identity. There are also plenty of articles showing the “First” or “Pioneer” of many units, institutes and schools. For example, 1963 - Pioneering Spirit of 2 SIR, 1966 - Officer Cadet School (OCS) - First Intake of Officer Cadets and 1967 - Beginnings of the Singapore Navy etc. We also begin to see that certain major exercises and incidents involving the military are reported: 1974 - The Laju Incident, 1978 - The Spyros Ship Disaster, 1980 - Exercise Elang Indopura I. In this sense, the SAF is displaying strong diplomacy through reporting of their joint-nation exercises. The reporting of incidents serves to show the SAF capabilities and their ability to tackle such occurrences with confidence. We can see that the theme of “deterrence” is constantly represented in this history section.

The last part of A Maturing SAF continues to strengthen the diplomatic nature of SAF as well as their capabilities in terms of incidents management. 1991 - SAF Assistance: Volcano Eruption in the Philippines, 1999 - United Nations Mission in East Timor and 2004 - Operation Flying Eagle. Operation Flying Eagle remains a dear humanitarian exercise to me as it occurred during my service term. There was a massive effort in reaching out to help the needy, and most importantly and of great relevance to this topic, is that there was great media coverage on their efforts. Soldiers ranging from men to commander level were interviewed of their views of this exercise. Whenever the local news broadcasted such interviews, there were always positive responses given. Interviewees showed a great sense of national identity and involvement despite having to work in an atrocious environment. At the end of this exercise, a book called 'Reaching Out – Operation Flying Eagle' depicting the SAF effort was chronicled. 15,000 copies of this book are printed and given to all participants of this exercise, and it is also available for sale to the public at most bookstores. All these actions taken by the government and the SAF boils down to one point: the use of media as a form of national indoctrination. The availability of media providing such information to the general public of Singapore makes every Singaporean (even those who have not served National Service) proud of the SAF capabilities.

This History Snippets section does not simply represent the official history of SAF only. There are underlying themes and agendas, as discussed above, being presented by the organization through the medium of an internet web page. We also have to take in mind that such historical representations are selective in nature. There are almost no accounts of the SAF “screwing” things up under their History Snippets section. The website does not report accidental deaths of soldiers in military exercises. Every single reported article has a positive connotation to them. This selective form of historical representation by the political elites allows the SAF to achieve their mission; it allows the government to justify their orders; it allows national identity to be developed and fueled; and it allows the SAF to deter via diplomacy We see that the use of ‘history’ has a much deeper and greater purpose.

Conclusion

In this paper, we have looked into the main homepage of MINDEF website and the History Snippets section. In them we have seen how certain themes such as struggle, survival, vulnerability, deterrence, national symbolism as well as indoctrination through the use of media are represented, through the use of an internet-media together with selective history. As we study deeper into the contents of the MINDEF website, we will realize that it is not just the information being presented that counts. There is also the organization’s hidden agenda, subliminal messages and even the National policies entrenched deep in between the lines of information presented. In this aspect, the availability and use of the Internet (in the case of MINDEF website) serves a greater and meaningful purpose in the defence of Singapore, at the same time, achieving the SAF mission statement.

If you managed to read till here, I applaud you for your patience..haha...

A new perspective towards the SUN.

2006-06-02T12:25:00.000+08:00

Took my first run earlier this morning under the hot sun since my heatstroke incident. It was a little different, more tiring nonetheless.

I used to love the hot weather, how it makes me sweat profusely after a long run, how it makes me feel alive. The body is a wonderful organismic thing. All organs of your body work functionally together just to keep it alive. The sweating mechanism is a beauty in itself.

Now, there is an element of fear of the sun. Part of me yearns to run under the hot weather, yet another side of me is stopping me from "kennaing" another heatstroke. I have no wish to kenna again, as the effects and the downtime is tremendosly sickening. It sucks to have such kind of fear, i guess (if there is a real existence of god), then god must me showing me a sign or something.

Perhaps I need to slow it down, perhaps there are things that I've overlooked, perhaps Im playing and running too much, and I need to spend more time studying..hahahaha...

Plenty of things to do, yet only 24 hours a day.
Time to take stock,
cheers.

I almost died TWICE yesterday.....

2006-05-28T17:56:00.000+08:00

First one was when I was playing soccer with the McLucky guys in the hot afternoon. Sometime later I felt a stinging headache. Worried that I may have suffered a little heat disorder (Which I had once before during my cadet days), and the symptoms were similar, I had to stop to rest for a moment. It was during the resting time that I felt so horrible and sick that I had to "crawl" to reach a GP clinic. Thanks to a great doctor and his staff, I managed to survive through the mild heat stroke.

The feeling of kenna heatstroke is torturous. No words can ever describe it, you have to get it to feel it. The only thing that came into my mind then was the people whom I've loved and treasured so much, and I kept thinking what will happen to them if yesteday was my fateful last day. It was scary to even think about this, but I think everyone SHOULD BE thinking about this on a DAILY BASIS. It helps to realign your character and let you know what is most important in your life.

The second time I almsot died is when I got home after my heatstroke has cleared up, and I checked my results. Ahahaha...I did really lousy, which I am very surprised because compared to last semester, I had put in more effort than I did previously, and the results did not appear otherwise. I looked at it for a while, then I laughed at myself, and my mom laughed together with me..hahahahaah. Thinking about the near death incident I just had in the morning, such revelations of results did not matter a single bit. I am just curious why I had gotten such weird grades, and till date it still puzzles me abit.

Anyway, life has gotten interesting. My article writing has paid off somehow in one way or another. I think writing is therapeutic. It helps to organise your thoughts, and by doing so, it also helps to organise your daily choices and actions you make. Though life cannot be simplified into organised paragraphs, trying to do so actually organises your life! (Sounds cheem ah..ahhaha..I read I also feel blur..but there is an intended meaning)

Time to have fun and slow things down. Need to rest after that heatstroke incident.

Clublife - Do you smoke, or not?

2006-05-27T23:12:00.000+08:00

From www.m-w.com:
Main Entry: smoke
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): smoked; smok•ing
intransitive senses
1 a : to emit or exhale smoke b : to emit excessive smoke
2 archaic : to undergo punishment : SUFFER
3 : to spread or rise like smoke
4 : to inhale and exhale the fumes of burning plant material and especially tobacco; especially : to smoke tobacco habitually
transitive senses

In this short article, we will be interested in point number 4 listed in the above definition. The tobacco industry is considered by many, a necessary evil in several nations (though they do not openly admit so) due to the economic benefits derived through sales from imports and exports. This necessary evil has indeed spread to infest mainly youth culture, as we see in particular, smoking is usually picked up during youth’s formative teens years. We shall discuss some of the reasons (based on my personal experience) of why people smoke and why some shun them.

Let me start you readers off by telling you that I am not a great fan of smoking and smokers. Sometime back during my secondary school days, I have personally witnessed a very close friend of mine picking up smoking right before my eyes. This experience has shocked me tremendously then, and it still did currently. All it did was to strengthen my resilience against smoking. Both my parents are smokers and I hate them for their smoking behaviors (not personally, though I have tried to stop them from smoking). I am glad I had this kind of experience in my life, as such experiences serve to build your true inner-self.

In my opinion, people who started smoking seek to develop or belong to a social group or youth culture. In other words, one tries to be special from the norm and starts smoking (individuality), whilst one can try to be part of a smoking community (conformity). It works both ways, as we humans always try to stand out from the others, and if we could not, we seek to conform, belonging to a social group. This is just human instinct, nothing right or wrong about it.

Many of my friends who smoke tell me that the smoke from cigarettes smell nice; it is the nice “high”, “rejuvenated” feelings that you get after smoking; it is the cool factor of holding a cigarette stick; it is the act of smoking that symbolizes adulthood. Beginner smokers will avoid the term nicotine addiction. Seasoned smokers will gladly admit there is no way for them to stop, due to addiction. These are the plenty of reasons why people start smoking. Whereas there is only one word – “NO” that stops you from starting.

Similarly, people who dislike smoking have their reasons too.
“I just hate the smell, it makes my shirt stink!”
“I rather eat ice cream.”
“Sucking my fingers can be a better substitute.”
Again we see that the choices we make (whether we choose to smoke or not), we try to justify it with reasons of our own.

In conclusion, we make our own choices at the end of the day. In the movie Matrix, Neo had to choose between the blue and the red pill. At the end of the day, the consequences can be drastically different. Likewise for smoking, who you are, what you become when you reach a ripe old age depends on the choices you make now. You choose your path of life, others choose theirs. We have no right to judge whose path is correct or wrong, but in the case of smoking, staying away from it seems to be the clearer path to take.

To me at least.

Clublife article posted!

2006-05-27T15:28:00.000+08:00

http://www.clublife.sg/main/

Entry: Do you smoke, or not?

Take a look. Will post the entire article here when I get back to PGP.

Flora in Malaysia

2006-05-26T12:27:00.000+08:00

Some pics showing my pro photography skills..hahahahah bhb...

Ipoh

2006-05-26T12:08:00.000+08:00

View from top of dunno what shopping centre.

Noodle Noodle from dunno what town..think its Green Town.

View from Syuen Hotel.

My favorite building. Its an imcomplete deserted building in the middle of Ipoh. Says alot about the country, the government, the mechanics of everything.

View from Syuen Hotel.

Ji Le Dong. Pictures inside ulu ulu cave. Splendid place.

Lobi Syuen Hotel.

Classic Shot. Timeless.

Penang

2006-05-26T11:53:00.000+08:00

Penang Hill!

Tram ride to 700+ metres above sea level. Very Scary!

Guess whose legs are grinding each others....eyerrr....gross...disgusting...er xin...yucks

Up the hill, down the slope, any sweat, no sweat!

Enjoying the cool dry breeze.

3 musketeers and their 1 big f*king gun...BFG...LOL!!!

View from Penang Hill.

Apa ini?

Penang Kuching.

Kuala Lumpur

2006-05-26T11:45:00.000+08:00

Puduraya Bus Station

Ice Skating Ring at Sunway.

Da Jia Hao! Wo men shi S.H.E!!!!!

Train...Choooo chooooo....Chijachija chijachija...Chooo hoooo!

KL Buildings.

KL Tower and Petronas Tower.

Apa ini building? Saya tak tahu...

UMNO

Genting

2006-05-26T11:36:00.000+08:00

Outdoor Theme Park

Indoor Theme Park

Space Shuttle. Didnt try because Miss Chew didnt bring her hairband.

View from First World Hotel.

Water Theme Park, for kids only.

Kereta Kabel

Selamat Datang - Welcome to Malaysia

2006-05-26T08:45:00.000+08:00

I'm back in a piece! Phew!

Welcome to Malaysia. This is the land where buses drive on the right lanes, overtaking crawling Peroduas,Kias and Protons, driving at more than 100 km/h; where cars will stop only when REAL zebras crosses the zebra crossings, not humans; where ridges of hills form the backdrop of many states; where the numerical value of the costs of items matches that of Singapore's (but of course the currency difference) and most importantly, where the good food hide in those ulu ulu mamak stores.

Ipoh(20th May Night):
Long bus ride from Sg to Ipoh. Stayed overnight at Miss Chew place. The bus ride was fast because I was sleeping all the way hahaha. Thanks to the earlier soccer session with McLucky guys.

Ipoh(21st May):
Besides the famous Ipoh Hor Fun, another thing that I've noticed (thanks to Miss Chew's reminder) is the infamous Ipoh Mei Nu (beauties). Out of 10 girls I've seen (girls around my age), 7 of them are pretty by my standards, 2 of them above average, and the last one, hmm...average. Sounds exaggerated, but so true. Seems like their bell curve for mei nu is pretty skewed, but I can only speculate there is something on with their gene pool in Ipoh population. They just keep reproducing pretty babies on and on and on... Even the aunties look pretty too! (my term of pretty is not associated with the word 'chio' or 'hot', those sound too degeratory. Pretty in a subtle sense, a touch of elegance and class, looking upon them builds up a sense of admiration, not lust.)

Dim Sum breakfast was awesome. There are so many people that people who has yet to get a seat will be standing over your shoulders, eyeing hungrily for your seat the moment you leave.

Visit some ulu cave. Within the cave hides a scene so beautiful that only my camera could capture! hahahaha. Hate the hustle and bustle of city life? Come here and take a rest. It rejuvenates your pent up soul like a click of your mouse.

Stayed overnight at Syuen Hotel.

Penang(22nd May):
Took the early bus ride to Penang and caught up with Kaiju, Weiloon and GY(dunno spelling ahhahaha). Riding over one of the longest bridge over sea was awesome. Went to another scenic mountain where the clouds are below us. Another great place to come, retire, die, disappear and etc.

Ate the famous Penang 'tissue' laksa (ok just a spoonful, im not a great fan of laksa). They say you have not fully visited Penang if you did not try their laksa. So I took a spoonful. Tasted different from Sg ones, its so much richer in taste, and best of all, its made from a super unhygineic stall, yet people still flock to them and buy their food. I guess there is a distinct correlation between the hygiene standards of cooking stalls in relation with the quality of food made. So far, all the great food I've eaten come from seemingly dirty mamak stores, and my stomach still turned up well.

Went back to Ipoh at evening time and ate somemore good food at Ipoh Garden. Stayed overnight at Miss Chew's place again.

Kuala Lumpur (23rd May):
Took the early bus ride from Ipoh to KL Puduraya bus centre. KL is a dangerous place, or so said by Miss Chew's and my dad. "Do not go to those crowded places, pickpockets are everywhere..." Well, you just need to take good care of yourself and travel with company. And with company we had, meeting up Miss Chew's good friend Sookfern at ipoh bus station and leaving together for KL.

Took the MRT system in KL. Its a delightful system, only problem is that it is constrcuted by many companies and the standards are varyingly different. YEt the entire of KL is very accessible via train. Linked up with Jia wei(spelling? haha) and went to Sunway for shopping.

Left KL for genting at evening time.

Kabel Kereta (Cable car) ride was crazy. It is the worlds longest cable car over the rainforest. Honestly I was abit frightened hahahhhaa, just kidding. Check in First world hotel, and slept like a child .

GEnting (24th May):
Indoor/Outdoor theme park was decent, nothing much.. Highlight was the casino, where Miss Chew so badly wants her revenge, and got it all the time. I call it Sin City. Uncles, Aunties, Ah peks and ah mahs all flock here for a good spin. The casino is really huge, and it is filled with money, chips, dealers, gamblers, jackpot players, and worst of all, cigarette smoke. Didn't place a bet because the minimum bet ranges from RM 5 to 25. Jackpot machines are smaller though, starting from 1 cen, but I do not favour these machines cus they are made to cheat your money.

Stayed overnight again
Genting (25th May):
Makan hotel buffet breakfast (we missed the first one..hahaha..cus...haghaga), packed up, and left. Seriously, the cheapest food in Genting is fastfood, KFC, MacD, Burger king. If you intend to go Genting, just eat these food to save money.

Left for puduraya (KL) in the afternoon, and its return trip for me to Sg, and Miss Chew to Ipoh.

Bus ride from KL to SG was horrendous..from 430 to 1100. Sit till your butt crack really cracks.

But Home sweet home.

Upon crossing the causeway, the familiarity of Singapore strikes me immediately. There is something about Sg that Malaysia don't have: it's the bright lights that lit up the highways; it's the clearly marked tarred roads; it's the organised greens (i mean trees and flora) that line alongside the roads; it's the buses driving at the left lanes; it's the smooth traffic even at a peak hour; it's the frequent traffic lights that so often changes their colours; it's just Singapore - highly organised, efficient and lovely. Honestly, I was a little homesick after a few days in Malaysia. I can't imagine my malaysia friends having to stay in SSingapore for months before being able to return back home, to taste their great food that Singapore could not offer.

Alrightee..peektures akan datang!

Understanding Purpose of Life...and Stark Visions of the Future......

2006-05-16T09:09:00.000+08:00

I have always been mystified with how human life originated, how we have evolved into such complex social beings with intelligence, and most important of all, the purpose of such intellectual beings in this time of the universe.

We all know that one day, Earth's resources will no longer upkeep our current lifestyle and the Earth will be sucked dry. Oil is one limited resource. We are using oil faster than they are formed, thus explaning the increasing oil prices and the drive to develop new sustainable alternative resources. One day, Earth will be inhabitable for humans.

Even if Earth's resources could sustain us eternally, the dynamics of the universe will not spare us either. There are so many unknown variables: the Sun losing its fuel; possibility of a meteor crash that will wipe us out like they did with dinosaurs; collision of planets; or even epidemics like a monster bird flu that no vaccine will be able to cure.

It all results in one outcome: that humans will not be able to live on Earth forever. Humans will cease to exist sometime in the future.

So what is the bloody purpose of the existence of humans? Why are we put through schools to gain knowledge, go to work to input our values, build structures, save people with medicine, becoming a lawyer to instill justice and etc? What is the meaning of all this things? Since we are all dying....what the hell are we doign all these?

My theory is this. All living species living on earth serves 2 purpose - survival and reproduction. In essence, all we are doing currently seeks to serve this 2 purpose. We work hard to earn a salary to provide for our family (and of course our children, in reproduction).

In view that Earth is going to be inhabitable, the purpose of survival of the human species is already being studied and worked at currently. We know that the Universe has no definitive boundaries (correct me if I am wrong). There could exist another planet just like ours, and even if it does not, there are similar habitable conditions for us to live in. Right now, Mars remains the best future habitable habitat we are studying and foocusing on.

The exploration into space, I believe, is not simply about exploring and learning the universe, and gaining knowledge beyond our Earth. It is much more than that, it is SURVIVAL. NASA has been doign a great job in terms of space frontiers. In the future, NASA will be our passport for human survival.

The reason why humans have evolved to such complex thinkers, why we study and work so hard, particularly those in the Space/Universe field, is to ensure that we survive. We are goign to build a travelling spacecraft to transport people to live in a new world. Engineers will be required to build new habitable domes in our new alien planet. Likewise, we still need the services of doctors, lawyers, policemen, blah blah blah in the new civilization that we will build in the future, not here, but somewhere out in the universe. And you, if you are still reading at this point, will think that "Oh WOW! Thats all so good! Everyone can MOVE! We can ALL live on!"

Well, not so I guess. I do not believe everyone on this planet will be given a second livign chance, a new NASA passport to the new world. In our current industrio-capitalist society (Superpower nations such as America), we all know that people who has the money has the power. Theres a PUN: "God is always on the side of the rich, and comes visit occasionnally the poor." This ultimately links to survival. People who are rich and has the power and ability to get a NASA passport are the ones who will fly away from our Earth. The poor remains here, and waits for the sun to lose its fuel, waits for a meteor to strike, waits for their own judgement day.

This view ultimately raises some questions and possible problems. Will there be civil strife when such a momment comes, when we need to escape from this planet? Will morals and ethics remain in the dictionary? Will the gap between the poor and the rich ever get narrower? Or even wider? There are so many implications of this view, that as I write this, it scares the hell out of me. I know I will not live long enough to see this day, but such visions I have can mean something to the people living currently.

As I reread this article, I realise it is a pretty lope-sided view. Maybe as we progress as a society, we are able to sustain life well within the Earth itself. We may be able to build a dome that shelters us from all the unknown variables. Create our own Sun. Start an entirely new sustainable energy form and etc. However the idea of the space colonization remains pretty convincing.

A stark vision of the future indeed.

The Greatest Competition.....

2006-05-16T00:15:00.000+08:00

is against yourself. YOURSELF!
Not against your peers, coursemates, working colleagues, superiors etc.

People who compete amongst others will only reach a certain level. So what if you beat your friend (one who is very good in studies)with your exam results. You earn bragging rights, you feel good about yourself, you become better than him.

People who compete against themselves only play at a different level. They seek to be better, constantly self improving, growing everyday. I beat my friend in studies, so whats next? How can I do better next time? Am I using the correct studyign methods? Should I focus more on readings or lecture notes? Should I do past year paper questions? Look closely and you will realise the focus is on yourself....not on others. "Shit....they are all doing past years..so i should do too..else i will lose out"
"Shit....they did all their tutorials..highlighted all their key pts in lecture notes...I am going to do so too!"

See the difference?

Another purpose of this post is that exam results are about to be released. My point is that exam results only reflect your academic competency/imcompetency, and only that, nothing else. How well or how badly you score does not reflect on other aspects of your character: how friendly/sociable you are; how you can cook; how filial you are; how charitable you are; how you like shitting in a special position; how you like to sleep naked; how you like to talk cock sing song and play mahjong. I'm sure you get the drift.

Plenty of times people are too outcome-oriented. "Shit my CAP too low....gonna raise it..gonna pia" As a result, they miss out on other aspects of their lifes. They get sloppy, they isolated themselves from friends, they study very hard. And they get A's! No doubt, its all good, but life is not just about studies. Life is much more than that...much much more...

Realistic people tell me to get REAL. "LEslie..wake up your bloody idea...and get back to reality. Singapore is like this..you need good grades to do well....." I say people who get stuck too much in reality are those who cannot realise and seek their dreams. People who take a step out of reality are those who can look far ahead, and know what they truely want, and work towards it.

Working for your dreams:
Realistic people: Think of dreams as mere wishes.
People who can take a step out of reality but knows his limits (Like one knows that human cannot fly with external help): Think of dreams as possible attainable hopes.

Hope and Wishes is different. Check dictionary. A hope is something that is still attainable, a wish is something intangible.

So food for thought...Take it easy in the next few weeks when exam results are released.

Opposites Attract...

2006-05-13T09:49:00.000+08:00

Read somewhere that in a relationship (heterosexual one of course), people tend to find mates with contrasting qualities, characteristics, skills to complement their own shortcommings. For example, fit vs weak, ugly vs pretty/handsome, rich vs poor..

Of course in a relationship, there can't exist a couple with totally contrasting opposites. All hell will break loose and things can get pretty funny (for bystanders and their friends). They still need some common interests that they can share with each other.

So how much contrasting and how much similarity will ensure that the relationship will go smoothly? I have no idea, perhaps it is maintained at a mathematical equilibrium formula, perhaps its linked to the overrated Golden Ratio number. But I believe there is more contrast than similarity in a stable relationship. If there is more common interests that contrast, then everyday a couple will be talking about the same old thing again and again, the relationship gets dull and tada, wala, game over.

However, another point I wonder is that in the process of courtship, if 1 person (he) likes the other party (she) so much that he is willing to do everything for her, he may falsely create or induce a pseudo-similarity(common interest) or pseudo-contrast in an effort to court the other party. For example, if the girl you like supports a particular football club, and you hate the club she supports, overtime, you will find yourself liking the club she supports. Likewise for the example on contrast, if you know she hates eating icecream, you may deliberately eat ice cream in her presence even if you hate icecream.

I wonder how couples who started off with this "pseudo-contrasting/similarity" will end up. Over time, true colours of either parties will show, and perhaps when this time reaches, the quality of relationships hit a bedrock and questions will start arising.

My point is, to have a real good relationship, you have to be TRUELY yourself. Present the best and the worst sides of yourselves to the other party at the very start of the relationship. This makes things alot easier for each party to judge if someone is a keeper or a loser.

To self improvement!

2006-05-12T01:10:00.000+08:00

We all bury, or rather are buried, by the hustle and bustle of daily life.

8 hours of sleep (for me..a sleepaholic)
8 hours of work (for working adults)
2 hours for lunch and dinner
1 hour for shit, pee, and bathe

That leaves you 5 hours left per day.

Travelling time takes 1 hour.

4 hours left.

You nua and lembik around....3 hours left.
Spending time with family and friends, 0 hours left.

So how do you self improve when you hardly have the time to?

The answer is easily, you just need to take out time from your busy schedule, be alone, and have a pen and paper.

Write down
1) What have you achieved/done yesterday
2) What do you want to achieve/acomplish/complete today
3) What can you do to improve on what you have done yesterday (in other words, what better alternatives can you do that is more efficient, easier, less costs incurred, less tiring etc)

This is in essence a short term goal.

Over a course of the year, you should do one for the year itself. As well as quarterly goals.

Doing a 5 year goal and a 10 year goal is also crucial to your development.

In fact, you will read this advice in many of the self-help books. It seems that I am merely plagarising people's idea, but it is really helpful in character building and skills development.

Don't start too late, start today!

On a Wet Wet Orchard Day

2006-05-10T10:43:00.000+08:00

World's worst umbrella by Miss Chew

Drones in the rain.

Scene I am drawing.

Da Vinci at work.

Drawing with horrible ratio proportion errors..akakakaka!

Old sch gaming friends

2006-05-10T10:39:00.000+08:00

Eugene - Numbskull

Left to right - Jonathan Yellowduckie and Yuhun Vandra

John - Citanul, PIPIPAPIPU

Marcus - Exodus

Jamie - 9mm

4/5/2006 Jalan Pinang Leisure Farm Resort

2006-05-06T17:29:00.000+08:00

It was just the thing I really needed after the end of this semester. Recently of late, plenty of things has happened to me: Injuries, activities, exams, getting sick, recovering blah blah (you won’t be interested). Honestly, though I look really relaxed and calm on the outside, it was a tad too much for me in the inside. Humans are just like machines, probably even more frail and fragile than them. You need time off for rest from studying as well as playing!! As I said to Miss Chew, I felt that I needed to go somewhere desolated to just be with myself, think through about things, about life, about relationships, about the next semester, about what I really want to do and achieve in the coming few months. This trip to Johor to Kevin’s place was just what I really needed. Kudos to Kevin the man.

Highlights of trip: watched plenty of movies, ate the Klangg BakkutTeh(it was the sweeter version of the Bakkutteh compared to Singapore, less pepperish in taste). Went to the stables and saw REAL HORSES for the first time (besides the zoo, and the only thing I remembered was how long the dicks of the horses were) in close proximity. “After Dark” was the name of Kevin’s pretty horse. And damn it, those horses were huge…HUGE! Took rides on the buggy, peeked at empty lots of houses and ate at a delightful deck which reminds me of the reality TV “The Bachelors”. Drank lots of wine, beer, coke, food. And lastly, watched more and more movies. I remembered sleeping like a child on this very afternoon, dozing on and off while Hellsing was being played. Feels like I have taken a rejuvenation pill after this sleep. It is a wonder that time ceases to be a dimensional entity when exams are over. Things just take a slower pace, or so it seems.

And here I am, writing this at bedtime on this very quiet night. Kevin, Noel, Ian, CaiWei and Mark is probably sleeping already. Felt sorry about missing the BBQ session organized by the Malaysian group, but thinking about it, hanging around with friends or even close friends like girl/boyfriends require a sense of moderation. You spend too much time with a single group, sooner or later, you will be sick of them and interesting dynamics may appear. Well, its just me, my thinking. (different people may have different opinions).

School starts next week, and I bet after this trip I will be ready for more.

I’ve changed a lot from last semester. I believe I have reached a mental state (Which Miss Chew says that I am just different, just like everyone is a different individual) that what I would say is “controlled freedom” in terms of thinking, ideas, creativity and my emotions. Sometimes when I speak to people and tell them about this, I get blank stares and receive responses that are so generic in nature. Generic in the sense that most people disagree with my way of thinking and give responses that are pretty “motherhood”(common responses).

I realise people like to limit themselves in many aspects, even I do too sometimes. For example, on the issue of playing pool and a friend of mine who is not so good in it (but was good in many other areas), he gave the response of “you have to focus on one small thing at one time and do it well before doing other things”. It sounds good for the general public (pretty motherhood statement), but I see it as a “limiting statement”, sounds very much like limiting reagents in chemical reactions. Such statements or thoughts can really LIMIT yourself, your behavior and thus your subsequent actions.

I think it is very much down to the individual level. If you try something new and you like it, you can simply just spend 15 minutes per day (or just simply spending time) on this new hobby of yours and over time you will be good in it! I make sure I spend at least 30 minutes a day with my guitar everyday; I make sure I speak and listen to at least 1 new friend everyday; I make sure I will spend a minimum of 3 nights per week just jogging, no matter how fast I run; I make sure I spend time catching up with old friends, meeting up with them once in a while; I make sure I will laugh heartily every time I hear a joke, or make one. “LACK OF TIME / NO TIME” is a very lame excuse, even though I use it, but am trying to cut down on the usage of this excuse.

Being fully preoccupied with something can be good and bad. (DOTA, guitar, blah) Good in the sense that you can call it passion. You are just being passionate about the thing you are doing, and doing it well (see post on validation). Bad in the sense that you are losing out on so many other new things you have not tried in this world. A balance has to be found, and this balance again boils down to each and every individual. It is all about moderation.

At times, I think to myself whether I should stop sharing to others how I feel and think about life and etc; but this just can’t really happen because when you are happy, you will want to share with others on how you live your life. Because you will believe that by sharing and having people understanding and listening to you, you can change them for the better, and in turn make them feel happier about themselves. I know people will question my intentions: “Why is he acting this way? What is he trying to achieve or get from others? Are there any hidden agendas in him doing all this?” All I can say is I do not really have an answer for all this, perhaps the best answer is: “I am just being myself”. Perhaps I do have hidden agendas that I myself do not realise, perhaps what I am doing is wrong. No one really knows, no one really understand everything that happens, because when you do understand everything in this world, then there is really nothing else to live for and you can go die…hahhaha. No matter what, I feel much better and more complete when compared to the old me in the last semester. I hope I can feel this way after every semester.

Sometimes life is a love-hate relationship. Love-hate in the sense that we love to do things that affect us negatively. We like to drink alcohol, only to feel like shit the next day, getting hungover, but we still like to drink alcohol; I like to run, only to feel my knees and ankles aching after that; sometimes we fall in love with someone because we hate them initially, sometimes it is the other way around; and other relevant examples you can find yourself. Life is like a rubber band, at times so stretched and stressed, whilst at others so relaxed and even sloppy. Life is complex, weird, ironic, yet we hear people craving for a simple lifestyle. Haha, writing this makes me laugh.

P.S. Looking back at this entry, I would not have believed I have written something so gay and actually publish it. But who cares, if you are going to die tomorrow (or sometime in the near future), you would not care less about how people think about you anyway.

P.P.S If you’re gay, don’t let me know. Gaying is one thing I know I would not try.

Bodymachine

2006-05-04T09:35:00.000+08:00

"A game should be the conclusion, the peak of the week for anyone at any level,' Proffessor Maffulli warns. 'If you just go on the pitch and play you are more likely to get injured than if you do other exercise or training before and after.'"

-Soccernet

Ahahahahaha so true...

Rant. I really mean RANT.

2006-05-02T16:27:00.000+08:00

This is going to be a strong post, so sit back and hold tight.

Preface:

I seriously dislike people asking me about my grades, whether I had study for this test or not, whether I am slacking, or whether I am studying behind their backs while telling them that I did not study.

When I say I didnt study, i really mean it. And if i did, I will say yes when asked.

Rant:

So stop asking me about schwork, or talk about it during lunch, dinners, or whatever. In a jokingly manner, yes you can. Just dont talk to me and give me a smug or mocking look.

So what if i tell you my CAP was 5.0 last sem, or 2.5. Are you going to judge a person based on his academic results? What matters most is not how much material your brain can contain and your cap score, but rather how big is your heart, your personality, your character, your true self.

Watch Radio (A movie depicting a mentally slow rugby player). Radio had a personality that won people over despite his slower mental development. Watch that show, compare yourself to him, and conclude who is the better person.

I said to someone. I am not going to let my grades affect my mood to have fun, to live the life i want, to have dinners or lunches with friends, my health, or even to stress me unecessarily. It is silly to see so many people being blinded by the grades they get from their transcript, and their behaviour so deeply affected by them such that people around them are influenced negatively. They emit such a negative aura that sickens me literally.

Conclusion:

What is inside you is more important, not what you achieve, not your grades, not your results, not how you can memorize a thick stack of books or the entire periodic table. I believe you will be a happier person somehow.

Thanks for reading.

I want to...

2006-04-29T09:58:00.000+08:00

see the world
sleep more
have nice breakfast everyday
play with my gf more
learn new songs
run everyday
sit comfortably and just observe people
play soccer
play badminton
pick up new sports
pick up new musical instruments
cut my hair
take short afternoon naps
have nice lunches and dinner
to just talk cock
sing song
play mahjong
slow walk in the cool breeze
and in the rain
or soak in the morning warmth
write my book
read more books
take the occasional drink
spend the occasional latenights
be very tired
and longing for bed
understand why we exist
be in harmony within myself
but not the last and the least
not waste anymore time.

Its all about validation.

2006-04-27T11:11:00.000+08:00

Sometimes life is about validation. Validating our success through our achievements. We like to do things that we are good in, so that others can see, others can validate that we are good, and this inturn makes us feel good about ourselves.

The mantra "You can't be good in everything" is quite true. Take for instance, people who are academically inclined in general lack strong relationships with their peers (I know this is very subjective to intepretation but for the sake of this article, we will take it as that), while those who have plenty of friends and are good to hang out with usually don't do that well in their studies.

This phenomenom is pretty familiar and I am sure people can relate to this. Like i said, its all about validation. We do things that we are good in, thus if you are good in studies, you will like it and do it more. Vice versa for the other example.

However there are a rare breed who are good in everything..like errhem...(TM index soaring up high now Akakakak!) They are good in all aspects, be it in sports, language, people skills, etc etc.

Purpose of this article is to let you, as a reader, know that you have the potential to be good in everything. Trust me, this is not bullshit. As long as you have the self-belief and confidence in yourselves, you can make your life as exciting as you like it to be.

Surreal to clock mileage again.

2006-04-27T02:03:00.000+08:00

As said, I love exam period. It brings out the best and the worst of people, in terms of their character, personality, behaviour, idiosyncracies, health, love and whatever.

Been quite a helluva week for me. Soccer match, recovering from shin, knee injuries, blisters infection (lousy demasone akakakak!), traumatic and not-so-traumatic papers, champion league matches, accomodation issues. Just feels so good to finally step out on the road with my trusty asics again.

I'm sure lovers of running will agree with this. It's just you and your body. Physical, nothign emotional, intellectual, though abit psychological at times. Feels great to just forget about every damn thing that most students have in their mind now: helpsheets, screwing up of previous papers, falling sick due to being around with sick peers..hahahahaha.

Its just surreal, to run.

Soccer on Sat!

2006-04-25T22:27:00.000+08:00

Doing the Cha Cha Cha!

Kickass!

Ronaldinho No look Pass.

Half-Time. Dressing Room - Void deck.

Lampard measuring his angles.

Ronaldinho flipflop trick. Too bad its a still picture..kakakakak!

Soccer is a confidence Game

2006-04-24T13:49:00.000+08:00

Just had my first match in almost a year last saturday. Lost the match though, ended up with a few battle scars and bruises. Thanks to somebody's dermasone, my blisters seemed to get worse instead of healing better.

I say football is very much a confidence game. Sometimes whichever team "seems" to be the more confident team wins the game. Sometimes, not all the time, cus there is the element of luck, or lack of luck (a factor which we always use when we lose a game).

Prematch:
Team A shows up. Team A players wear the same jerseys. Clean, white, well-pressed, matching shorts and socks to boot. They have plenty of balls to kickabout during prematch. They do their warmups and stretchign together. They shout a cheer. Their players stand up tall, with their feet firmly anchored to the muddy pitch, beemign with confidence.

Team B shows up, but late. Their players wear chapalang jerseys, some even wearing tshirts(thats me hahahaha). Socks all weird and different. Only a few balls to kick about. Tactics written on 1 sheet of crumpled paper. Some players do stretching, others jumped straight into kicking and passing the balls for warmup. Before the match they are already panting because of the weather.

The battle is half lost.

During the match:
Team A's seemingly high confidence seems to have dwindled at the very start. Tackles were made hard(very very hard) and fast by team B's players. Spaces were closed down, their playermakers hardly get the ball. Even their midfielders are afraid to ask for the ball. The game of short passes is reduced to a gentleman's ping pong match. Team B players are encouraging each other. Their voices dwarfed those of Team A's, only their occasional cheers and jeers are heard.

Tactics:
Show the opposing team who is the boss. Tackle reallllyyyyy hard on their players at the very early of the match. Show them who is the one controlling the game. We are men playing football, not pussies or sissies or whatever.

The issue of longball style of play vs short passes. Based on experience, if my oppossing team plays a very good short-passing game with plenty of possession, I will lose confidence almost immediately, and also losing confidence in my team as well. It is hard to win the ball back, and even if we do win it back, its hard to re-generate the confidence to play short passes among the team. Watch Arsenal in the champion league games. Their short passing game literally drains the confidence out of their opponents. Of course we are not comparing ourselves to them, but this can be emulated and through it we build our confidence.

Long ball tactics require minimal teamwork. Its based solely on a good player, usually midfielder or even defender who has good distribution and placement skills. Lobbing the ball to a really quick striker and prays hard that he finishes and scores. Its a very individualistic tactic imho. Pretty efficient too, as the team does not really rely on everyone, but only a few players in their attack. This tactic is good for beginners squad, when they need a couple of winning games to build their confidence, but when faced with a more experienced squad, things can be totally different. Especially when they have good centrebacks. Those lobs, no matter how good they are, can never beat a smart and quick thinking centreback.

It all boils down to confidence, personal as well as team. And it does take time to build. Just my point of view though.

Team B is playing well, but yet the end results signify otherwise. Its the element of luck, pitch, hot weather, new forming team. Its still a budding team, a team which im sure, given enough time will be able to play some quality football. We have good players, no doubt, its only how much effort all of us want to put in though.

Comments are welcomed!

My death sentence turned out to be a gift.

2006-04-23T10:13:00.000+08:00

Article written by CEO KMPG, on Sunday Times 23/4/2006.

Its a delightful piece written by a top performer who was diagnosed with terminal illness and had less than a few more months to live.

Read it. This article can change your life as much as the idea written in it has changed mine.

Chunkit, still underaged.

2006-04-21T00:55:00.000+08:00

WAH...SURPRISED LOOK HAHAHAHAHAHHA!

This is called the Black Forest. Guess where it came from?

Ans: Germany.
Question: Which part of Germany?
Thomas: The Black Forest part lor...
Rest: !(#@!$!@!#@!)!$)()*)&@!&#(@!$

Ber Gay Gay look.

Chunkit, still underaged.

2006-04-21T00:52:00.000+08:00

Funniest couple around.

Chunkit, still underaged.

2006-04-21T00:48:00.000+08:00

Decimated Black Forest. Burned, razed, destroyed.

Guess who? haha...
"Shen me GUI?!??!?"

My Ex. My Current. My Future?

2006-04-21T00:42:00.000+08:00

Look at the gloss and curves!

Snippet of book...

2006-04-16T13:18:00.000+08:00

Recently I asked a group of people,
"What if tomorrow is your last day? What would you do today if that is so?"

I believe this question affects individuals at varying levels, as explained by Maslow's Hierachy of Needs.

Maslow's Hierachy of Needs is a theory of motivation. What motivates people to do things is pretty well explained by this theory.

Basically, an individual's level of needs is categorized into different levels, from basic to higher needs:

His theory explains that a person will try his best to achieve his lower level of needs first. Think 3rd world country, Africa nations. People there are motivated simply by providing them with basic lower level needs like food, shelter, water and to some level reproduction.

When lower levels of needs are satisfied, they no longer become a need for an individual. He then seeks for the next level of need as shown in the picture.

So when you face with the question at the very start of this post, to some people, if they know they gonna die the next day, they may seek for lower level needs, whilst others may go for higher level needs.

Next question: How do I advance from one level to another?

My answer is simply through life experiences. Good ones, bad ones, they all make you stronger and better if you take them positively. People who are negative in nature always remain at the lower rungs of the hierachy.

Also do note that basic needs affect everyone on a day to day basis. For example, if you skipped breakfast (like i do sometimes, and im a breakfast freak), you will be feeling grouchy, pissed, irritated, and perhaps you will act like an ass to your friends. You are motivated for food, and thus your subsequent actions steer you to get a bun, sandwich or whatever to fulfil your basic need.

The theory of motivation makes plenty of sense in explaining how people behave and stuff like that. Think about some of your personal examples and relate to this!

Larry bites the dust

2006-04-16T01:01:00.000+08:00

After (1/2 Glass): Larry

After (1 Glass): Larry

After (1.5 Glass): Larry

After (2 glass): Larry. Bites the dust.

Walao again

2006-04-16T00:55:00.000+08:00

Mr Mediacorp hunk Christopher Lee was sitting at the table next to us. Pretty boy with pretty face. Didnt ask for a groupie picture, wasted.

Toast. "To hell with NUS!"

Before (0 glass of hoegarden white): Larry Kang

Haikal..chipmunk

Mr Remus Wong. Best Sembcorp scholar ever.

Hunt for new gf....

2006-04-16T00:52:00.000+08:00

New gf. Her name is called Ibanez SX60RCB.

Hunter #01 - Allan Seow. Keeps dissing my ugly guitar bag.

Hunter #02 - Colin Seow. Head blocking a cute pretty girl.
Hunter #03 - Mr Stng. No picture cus you came late.

Preface done

2006-04-15T11:56:00.000+08:00

Just finished the preface of my book. Thought it took longer that it should. Time to let it stand and grow moldy.

It is going to be a long and tough journey.

Jiao Zi

2006-04-13T22:11:00.000+08:00

Excerpt

2006-04-13T22:00:00.000+08:00

"The second appetite is a love to laugh. There is an undeniable link between humility and laughter. When we are able to stop taking ourselves seriously, we realize that life is not really about us."

Adrian, coming of Age

2006-04-11T00:10:00.000+08:00

The Man of the Day.

Coffee Cake.

The Mess. Cream was good but too much was sickening.

Wonder whose birthday is it actually.

Da Gang.

Adrian, coming of Age

2006-04-11T00:03:00.000+08:00

Bday Man....stunned expression.

Me: "Ferdy, give me a satisfied look.."
Ferdy: "OKAY!"
KACHACK....
Me: "..... Oi...Satisfied look...not humsup look...."

Mr Loga. Pictures taken together with him always end up over or underexposed..LOL. Last result, to take a solo picture.

QingZhuang..dancing under NA disco light.

Sarah, so desperate to have her pic taken.

Man Y0ooooo vs Arseeeenal at Walao Walao Holland V

2006-04-10T09:21:00.000+08:00

Soccer addicts by the bar.....

Mengtat....engrossed.

Mianzi....sangat engrossed.

Wenyeow, really engrossed.

ChunKit and Aiyong, lagi engrossed!

Mousehead Lager (canadian beer sucks, so bitter) + one standard hawaiian pizza. Plain , simple, bagus.

Brewerkz..again lol

2006-04-09T11:37:00.000+08:00

JC Class outing...Very nice for brewerkz staff to reserve seats for us so near to the river.
The service was top notch!

Brewerkz..again lol

2006-04-09T11:31:00.000+08:00

The Phantom of the Night

2006-04-07T14:13:00.000+08:00

The Phantom of the Night

When the clock strikes twelve,
He breaks from his drowsing rouse.
Naked to the strong cold wind,
His blood chills from deep within.

The body's creaking like a rusty machine,
Yet he carries on with the pain.
"It's all mind over body," he says,
And so, he braves against the drizzling rain.

Gliding effortlessly across the plains,
His physiological gears click into place.
Not even time will stop him in his stride,
For only death could end his sorry plight.

They call him the Phantom of the Night,
As he comes and goes as he wish.
When the clock strikes twelve again,
He appears and leaves before anyone sees.......

-Leslie, 7/4/2006
-Written on the last lecture of MNO.

MNO 1001. Fun course to take!

2006-04-05T01:48:00.000+08:00

MNO group. Funniest people ever.

Weekend Mayhem...

2006-04-03T22:15:00.000+08:00

Usual Weekend hangouts.....in the old, dusty, slippery and windy Clementi Sports Complex.

Best Canvas shoes ever.

Saturday's Night Damage.
10 packets of indo mee - 4 dollars
1 can of stewpork - 3 dollars
1 day of diarrhoea - priceless........

Weekend Blues...

2006-04-01T03:50:00.000+08:00

The bus ride to the hangout.....

Weiloon (background) and Thomas, da cool married man (foreground). Like the ghostly effect. Maybe my hands were shaking too much, for whatever reasons....

"Talk to my stick!", says Kaiju schwarzenegger.
Who the hell cares about your stick......

Chun Kit - the tak boleh masuk guy.

Thomas. Look like a overgrown biz student.

Weekend Blues...

2006-04-01T03:29:00.001+08:00

Wenyao. Mr "Hou Fu".

Mengtat, Kaiju and Weiloon. Looking down and discussing about whose stick is longer and better (in the game of pool that is).

WHOSE HEAD IS THIS? Winner with correct answer gets free 10cent mama shop candies from me.

WHOSE BUTT IS THIS? Winner with correct answer gets a parcel of bomb from me.

Weekend Blues...

2006-04-01T03:29:00.000+08:00

Aiyong Posing. (Had to wait for like 5 mins for him to perfect his pose before taking this awesome shot)

Weiloon Posing. (Only took 5 seconds this time)

Best stuff is left at the end.

Last and the least.

Guitar Club. Pseudo-Eagles.

2006-03-29T00:29:00.000+08:00

Ferdi

Aikyong, Liyang, WenYao.

Mianzi(faced covered with hair, like ghost eh), Stephanie, Mengtat, another pro, a tad crazy but still within acceptable limits.

Chunkit and Allan, our shifu!

Presenting to you, the PGP malaysian community guitar club, pseudo-eagles to be, or wannabes. Making more noise than music currently, but still a great company.

Another....

2006-03-28T17:38:00.000+08:00

Another military personnel bites the dust again...while running. This time its a COL. So now we have like what: men, specialists, warrant officers and now officers dying from routine running exercises..How encompassing..haha.

There have been a number of military personnel dying while running in the past 2-3 years. Yet we hardly hear of civilians dying while running since god knows when. No idea why, but one reason I can speculate is that its all because of the media. Seems like the media likes to poke their noses into military personnel deaths.

Well, all I am concerned is whether on a very fine fateful day, this would happen to me or not.. hahah! Since I have been running on a daily basis, the chance and risk of dying is proportionatly greater, and furthermore, I AM A MILITARY PERSONNEL!! LAGI GREATER!! AHHAHA. So if one day you dont see me around anymore and you come back to this site and read this entry, you will most probably know what had happened to me.. Remember to send some condolence funds to my family and close friends.

Time to get insurance that covers : natural death while jogging.

.......

2006-03-28T07:47:00.000+08:00

Do not ever...lose the real you..

Para Paraaaa

2006-03-25T01:09:00.000+08:00

Some time ago during our sushi trip, heres one madmofo checking out the Para Para machine in the arcade. He says its his favorite.

I'll swear to GOD (even though im a free thinker..) I will never step on the machine in my entire life lol! its only for..ah bengs, ah lians, and weirdos who like to dance on an electronic platform and let others scrutize and critisize (Speellllinggg.....) from head to toe, chest to butt and etc...

Clearly he is enjoying himself. Going on and on....

-Live life like everyday is your last-
-Dance like no one's watching-

Though i live by the first statement, I clearly disagree with the 2nd one..ahhaha!

Of hair saloons, guys, girls and gays......

2006-03-17T16:09:00.000+08:00

Some interesting observations and thoughts in hair saloons....

Just as guys like to meet up and play hours of pool..bowling...arcade lan or shit, girls can spend HOURS in hair saloons just to get their hair done. I dont get it! It seems to me like its a social activity for them, going hair saloons...chit chatting with the stylist on.."Ohhh...my hair so yucky today...should I rinse??? wash?? condition?? or colour?? i going to party today leh..i dunno what to do...how how!!!?". Worse still...if they go do their hair with their friends...the saloon will be damn noisy with their busy chatter...Come on man...its just HAIR...lol! Wait....Even 60-70 yr old AUNTIE ALSO DO THAT!!! WAH LAO!! I was trying to get some cat nap while having a haircut but my day was disastrously spoilt by them..haha.

Saya boleh tahan guy hairstylist cutting and styling my hair...Of course, if its a pretty lady whos doing it, then it would be lagi better... However...I cannot tahan a guy...especially a gay looking guy washing my hair. Wah lao..just now while the gayguy was washing my hair..he gave me the "eh my hand skills shiok or not" look...WAH LAO...balls shrink man..asshole also shrink LOL... So no more...no more..no more guys washing hair for me...Sheer disgust.

Oh ya btw, im highly averse to gays. So if you are one, let me know ur address so i can send a parcel of bomb to you.

Have a nice day.

Shoe Review: Nike Free 5.0

2006-03-04T01:33:00.000+08:00

Shoe Review: Nike Free 5.0

2006-03-04T01:32:00.000+08:00

Have been wearing and using this pair of shoes for running. Like it to a considerable extent such that im gonna give a personal review on it.

This shoe is supposed to give you the "barefoot" running technology. You may be asking...why the hell do I need a shoe if I wanna run barefooted? Ahha..my personal reason was to look cool while running with a cool lookin' shoe..lol..kinda lame but I'll take it. Other reasons include: afraid to step on frogs, insects, thumbtacks, shit and especially SNAILS!!! (plenty of them strolling across walkways during nitetime) and etc...

Looks:
Nice sleek look. Nike swoosh clearly prominent. However mine turned from white to yellow due to storage....quite ugly now..haha. If you do intend to buy one, buy one that can easily match your daily clothing wear. Mine was a pathetic grey skin cover with red laces...ewww...not very matching. (I'm only wearing it for running...sad la) Currently I'm considering ordering a custom-made design with a white skin cover. 5/5 stars

Durability:
Mine lasted for 6 mths with consistent running...(avg 3-4 times per week...4 km per session). Only thing that changed was the white swoosh becoming yellow. 4/5 stars

Technology:
Barefoot running....my ass..haha. Its supposed to condition your tiny weeny feet muscles thru its barefoot technology and eventually make them stronger and of course, improve your running technique.

Personally when I first used it, my feet was quite sore after my running sessions but eventually the sore was gone, and never felt it again after. Sounds like my feet is conditioned, but your human body is always conditioning itself to the external environment. If you bathe with one leg standing, you will feel uncomfortable for weeks, and eventually you can do it with ease. Thats conditioning... So being the skeptic that I am, I would say this technology is just a marketing fad. 2/5 stars

Value:
Bought it in the range of 100+ (cant bloody remember). For the chic looks that will definitely attract attention, somewhat cool technology, and with a pretty lasting pair of shoe that can be worn for casual wear (if you buy the correct colours!), its worth the cash spent. 4/5 stars

Funny

2006-02-25T15:36:00.000+08:00

PGP 2

2006-02-24T17:54:00.000+08:00

Dislikes:

1) The bathroom floor is always sticky. I also dunnno why.....Feels very disgusting when I step into the bathroom after a long tiring run...ewwwwwwwww....

2) Why no ppl play soccer here!? Its all basketball....and even cricket! omg....dying of itchy legs already..

Likes:

1) Its a vibrant self sustaining place...3 makan place...1 mini mart that sells almost everything...gym...study room..tv room...fitness stations..tennis courts..multipurpose courts....Maciam itu mini condo eh! Bagus la

2) ziyang is working at the newly opened WAFFLES SHOP in AC! hahahahahaha....does that mean free breakfast? free waffles? Dunno yet...must start politicking with him. PLUS: lotsa pretty girls working in this waffles shop too!

More to come...adios

Mileage

2006-02-21T22:06:00.000+08:00

It feels good to begin clocking up weekly mileage again...However it tires your body so much that you wake up everyday early in the morning feeling like a rape victim, less the genetalia-insulted part. Calves sores...butt pain...heavy legs...makes you feel like an obese rock lying on your bed during your onset of awakeness. Pure physical intrusion. If anyone wants to get the pseudo-experience of being raped, try running 6-10km everyday for a week.

Good thing is that the pain experienced while ur lying forces you to get out of bed early, and it subsides quickly after that.

I like pain...lol...have i told anyone before?
It makes me feel human.

Brewerkz

2006-02-21T00:36:00.000+08:00

Good food (though the quantity is extra up-sized), nice company and best of all, great beer! (really opens up the talkcock sessions)

Nice catching up with oldsch friends...

On a sidenote, maybe my friends advice is true. Too high of an expectations, too far away, too little contact... Perhaps its high time to quit while we are still on good terms.

(Alcohol really impedes my thinking and typing process...cant type prolerprly now lol....magic of alcohol)

Ironing clothes

2006-02-19T21:24:00.000+08:00

feels a little therapeutic (spelling...wheres my spelling police). Its just you, the iron, ironing board and your clothes.

You can choose to spend quality time with them, slowly ironing out all the creases of your clothes nicely....gently...Enjoying the smell of hot-pressed cotton clothes and the dry iron (a steam iron would smell different). Changing the temperature setting for various types of clothing. Squirming in delight when ur horribly creased clothes (after the laundry) becomes spanking new and straightened again. Going thru the basket of clothing one by one, until it eventually empties out. A job well done, you say, and this rhythmic routine continues week after week.

However at times when time is not on your side, you rather choose to spend 'quantity' time with them, maximising number of clothes ironed / time spent. There is a distinct difference in the results of the end product. This time more clothes are pressed quickly, but yet subtle creases still remain. Though its not as perfect as expected, at least it makes you feel "hey, at least i did something". Some form of self-consolation that we humans always do.

Sometimes i feel that life is like a shirt. It starts off as new, and as time wears on, it gets dirty. Then it starts getting crumpled, and perhaps some bird shit may land on it. Everything seems to get so wrong..you feel..then its time to do something about it. Dump it in the washing machine, get it cleaned up, straighten it on the ironing board and tada! Spanking new (though not as fresh as before), with some creases reminding you of the past. And you wear it again, ready to face the world on a clean slate. Life is a tough test, and sometimes you do fail. Yet it is within life's mechanism that forces you to "wake up your bloody idea (as most army people would say)" and stand up from your failure, ready to face more tests coming from the future.

I do not know why i wrote this, but I just faced a horrid testing period sometime back and it was quite hard on me. But I have seen a transition to the better, and true to my own personal mantra "Things will always get better....eventually", things really did go better. I also believe everyone will have their ups and downs, and this is truely understandable to me now.

Signing off this reflective note...

Interesting...

2006-02-18T00:18:00.000+08:00

found out a couple of stuff abt myself during my short stay alone in pgp....

1) I like to keep my room neat, ordered and tidy. I would clean up my place every now and then. This stay reminds me so much of the days back in OCS.
This is so diIfferent back from my own home, where i wouldnt give a damn about things..tidiness etc. haha

2) Running at night in the campus feels so good...orgasmic in a sense. The cold wind, quietness, tough upslopes and lovely downslopes. Kinda rekindled my love for running in a way.

3) Bad thing is that laundry piles up pretty fast...gotta keep wasting 20cents on washing and drying. Never did my own laundry back home anyway..ahaha...oh man what a slacker.

4) Less distractions from studying. Living near campus is always good. (LoL...even though my home is already so close to campus)

alrite gonna sleep...computing test tmr morning...

Posted to PGP!

2006-02-07T20:48:00.000+08:00

Ahah...managed to get a room in pgp...

block 10 level 3 room M...
come hop in anytime! (but gimme a call first lol)

Weeee

2006-01-18T14:22:00.000+08:00

Check out my new forex trading site here. Just started with a mini account to get a feel of currency trading. Ultimately, I hope forex trading can be my long term full time job in the future.

Some say New Year's Resolutions....

2006-01-04T01:42:00.000+08:00

are meant to be broken, and make you feel sorry about yourself underachieving when you do a stock check of your resolutions at the end of the year. Then you start making new ones when the new year arrives. This endless cycle of making and breaking brings up another question: Why do people continue to make them, and then not fulfill them (some, not all though)?

Because it brings hope. Making New Year's Resolutions gives us something to hope for, something to look forward to. Many of us make resolutions that gives us false hope, resolutions that demands high expectations and some that are even impossible to achieve. Yet we cling so dearly to this hope, false or not, and make resolution that we think will bring us happiness when achieved.

Nevertheless, these are some of my resolutions:
1) Get fit again.
2) Get rich! Intending to start something up for myself, or I can take the easy way out by getting a sugar mummy....Yum...kidding.
3) Immerse myself totally in schoolwork/work for the entire year. Time flies when you do that. Hate it when time becomes a drag.
4) Get my driving license...haha. Hope I can find the motivation to do that. What is a license good for when you dont have your own vehicle?
5) Stay positive and happy! Duh. Who in the world won't want to be happy....

There are more, but those are personal.

Some say resolutions should be written with clear quantifiable targets/goals, so that you have something to measure upon and lets you know whether you have achieved them or not. However I prefer to leave mine ambiguous, rather than clearly defined. Why?

Because it gives me greater hope.

When the nights are no longer dark....

2005-12-19T18:37:00.000+08:00

and no longer short,
the sun creeps out from the east
and starts your mechanical clock.

Eyes blinking from the incoming rays,
your mind awake in a numbing haze.
You lie, yawn and wonder,
where's the darkness that disappeared yesterday.

You wake, work, eat and play,
and when night falls you creep back to bed.
You thought it was just another day,
but the nights are no longer dark,
and no longer short.

No sooner the sun creeps out from the east again,
and starts your mechanical clock........